the realm of non-existence

it seem like i have walked into a strange realm,
a world where i could not understand,
a place i could not communicate,
a dimension i could not stay;

how on earth i end up at here?
i do not know,
it just seem like the great things,
had become a past,
a history, no one would care,
a myth, slowly forgotten;

i hope this just a dream,
but i know this is worse than nightmare,
which i will never wake up,
forever stay with me;

i thought this last moment,
would be the most beautiful of all,
but instead it become the ugliest,
giving me not only despair and grief,
but also scar deep into my heart,
which i would never forget...
-----------------------------

yes and i dunno why, everythng had changed, in just few month..suddenly every1 is jz so stranger to me...the last moment which usually ppl would dear most, but it becm a nitemare for me...seeing my frends leaving status and comment which show the bond of frendship and love, i envy thm..cox wad i gt is hostility and isolation...ppl i care most, place i love most, it doesnt same anymore...

probably becox im nt the one whu together walk pass this 4 years, probably becox im jz a passer-by, probably becox im nt that kind of humorous ppl, probably i being serious in too many thng, probably im jz too wierd to be understand and mixed wif...i shouldnt put so much of my time into thm...
yea, they talk bout love and forgiveness,
yes, they talk bout love ur enemy and giving to thm,
yes, they talk bout their faith and boast their frendship,
but it to me it jz an empty talk,
so empty that even vacuum could not even compare with it...

for few week, i sit in the van, where i could feel,
im just like a non existence creature,
i climb in walk out, no one knw,
even i hear 1 of thm say,
hey, u been in the van all the time?hw cm i dunno bout it...
mayb, mayb i gt the cloak of invisibility..

enuf of tat, even if im like a chameleon to thm, i can be a butterfly to other...
the world is not onlt consist of that few glamouring attention attractant ppls...
as usual since long time ago,
i can mix well wif ppl younger than me compare to same age and older than me...
i do not knw y, bt i knw i can trust thm and sincere with thm...
again they wil be my sweet dream in the worst nitemare...
=)

p/s: to those in my blog's link, and do not update their blog for, erm, mayb few months, ur link will be removed..is spring cleaning again ...well, mayb im a bit late, bt better than never..hehe =)