Thursday, October 28, 2010

birthday!

hehe...24th bday jz past~~~cool day, well, the weather is cool too!!!
starting wif the kidnapping of me frm my room~gosh, u should see the photo!i really feel like being nabbed by some terrorist, and heading for a gallows!!and they really surprise me as i didnt expect them to appear in my room...nvrtheless, i enjoy it...haha....so happy and touched that they do it for me~~who are them u ask?well, quite a lods...achi, roger, kai zhen, carol, cecelia, mim mim, cny, ande, ah chai, xiong liang, 3kelabu, alvin, fishy, jia jia, ran yan....did i miss out any1??they kidnap my spec too, so they cast me into the world of blurriness...

den whole day replying the wishes on facebook...i guess nowadays ppl use fb more than hp msg!!most of my frend use fb to greet edi...including the belated wishes, tat would be 181 wishes on my fb wall, and thr some use 'tumpang wall post' to greet me...gt spammed..so i dun think i could name every1 of them here as i dun think i could find bac the 1st few post anymore...bt THANK YOU ALL for it~*feel so blessed*...

den havin lunch wif dear sis ah chai at sushi king..haha, is been a while eat a meal wif her edi~so feel so happy!smore celebrating my bday~~end up she gave me a pillow, comfy huggable pillow...haha!until the new car arrive, it will stay at my bed..XP blek!!!THANKS A LODS TOO!!!!love ya!=)

wad else, ohh, celebrating wif my cg~even doh disappointed couldnt go out eat, bt im still happy as every1 of them celebrate it for me...hehe, my cg is always so adorable and warm!!!love you all too!!!minus the part when they being evil bullying me....haha..wad?of cox they evil!as they bullying such a cute adorable and kind little pikachu->me!

guess tat would be my bday for this year...i feel glad for everythng, and praise GOD for givin me such a lovely  frends around me, and of cox the breathe till 24 years old and still counting...well, im nt the glamour ppl around, bt im happy when few of my close frends can remember and celebrate wif me..tat would make my bday perfect edi!who are them?well, u knw if u r one~~ appreciate it a lods!

LOVE YOU ALL!!<3

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

updates for recent days

finally have the time to update~
choir concert turn out to be successful!!after a whole month of extra practices, planning and worrying, every1 able to do their best, using their voice and sing out loud to our GOD~i hope every1 do experience the love of GOD in the process and also learn smthng new, nt only in singing skill, bt also spiritually...so, this conclude this semester activities, and time for next year planning...

hehe...now is 26/10, 1 day away frm my birthday~expectation??erm....didnt really expect anythng doh...jz hope that no1 will pull a prank on me...hah, halloween is around the corner, ppl do funny stuff during time like this!u nvr knw!thr so many crazy ppl around....bday wishes??doesnt really trust this stuff as it nvr come true?haha!well, jz for tradition, yea, jz wish for smthng bt...i wont tell you wads tat!hehe!waiting to get spammed in fb wall anyway...it always happen...would compile it and write it here after the day, jz like last year...talking bout halloween, frend proposed to haf a pt during tat time, i hope it would happen cox is fun!haha!

anyway, its cfm that next year i will start teaching, in a private sec chinese sch...teaching english at equivalent of form 3 and form 4 in gov sch...frankly, kinda nervous cox i dun haf much experience and knowledge in english...afterall, my english language is not tat gud either...*blaming msia edu system*
ohya, if u do not know wad cfm, it is short form of confirm, or in this case confirmed...uh?cox ppl always ask me wad cfm mean when i used it!

and, exam is around the corner bt i feel nth bt holidays!!!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

who to share?

usually when u have a vry happy news or joyful event happening on u, who would u share wif?loved one?family??friend(S)?

i found it vry hard to share a happy event wif ppl around, be it ur frends or any1 close to you...
y??i nvr know they would see my 'happy event' as happy for them...i nvr knw wad they felt when i told them...happy for me?envy??jealous??or even disgust or hate??
ya..u would say, this is y the header of this page is called joyful always, place whr i could put my joyful event here (of cox it include not joyful one)...

well, bac to the topic..done some 'acid test' sharing my happy event to certain ppl..most of the reaction i gt, as i can see frm their face, is not really a 'happy event' for them-be it does not concern them, or they feel im showing off, or even jz jealous/envy of it...there ppl even reply me, y u tell this to me?wad u wan me to do??or jz a simple word-'so'?of cox there some ppl who try to show interest, and mayb out of social norm, ask hw was it and some congratz, bt i can see frm their face, they dun feel it tat way...
wait, i can do face/emotional reading??well, i guess most of us heard this be4 "u can tell lies wif ur words bt nt ur face"...unless u really know hw to conceal it, usually ur true feeling will be shown clearly at ur face expression...

so, i reached to a conclusion, dont simply share ur happy event wif any1, unless, tat person is really a gud true frend who feel happy and joyful for wad happening on u, wifout any envy and jealous...sound pessimistic??haha, i guess this is the world now...ppl usually care more about themselves, everythng centered on ME instead of others...others 'happy' or 'sad', as long as it doesnt affect ME, will be ignored...this apply to almost all frends, and shockingly, frends frm church too...

anyway, im still feel happy for myself >.< who care wad they think bout it...i knw is a blessing frm GOD and also a trial frm GOD...it could really test my faith to the limit..balancing between financial gain and spiritual gain..gosh, i hope i could keep on wif wad im stand for all this time...prayer needed =)

in the end, if u really really wanna know wads tat happy event i felt bout, haha, u should ask personally...as i said i reached a conclusion for nt simply sharing good and bad news wif every1...mind you, if u jz wanna knw and after tat treating me as showing off, i would knw easily...a true frend is hard to find, so appreciate him/her if u found 1...
for now, i would keep it to my heart....

-----------------------
wif the thng happening...suddenly i feel this suit me...

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

Monday, October 11, 2010

to the sky!

totally fall in love wif two song frm owl city
vanilla twillight and to the sky~~
like the music, the instrument, the lyric and also his dreamy sound...haha

guess such relaxing music is really needed in time like this...at least a space to take breathe...i wonder if every1 being pushed too much, or is jz becox the expectation is set too high and not achievable...no matter which, i fear it would turn out badly and it would be a big failure...i guess no1 would like to see that...no, i dun even dare to imagine it....
so,  i can only pray, and more pray...that GOD would lead us through these critical time...
i do not know, izzit every1 is demotivated?or jz couldnt understand?or is the 1 i dun wanna belif, no1 would take it seriously??hmmm....
bt i hope no matter hw demotivated it is, hw hard it could be, or hw un-seriously it is, is only 2 more weeks!!get through it and all will be over....
i belif, if we really put up the hard work, do our best in every effort, even if the outcome is not as gud as 1 might wan it be, it would still a sweet end....which im sure GOD will bless us abundantly!i belif tat every1 had try their best....and we jz need more prayer, and more faith!!
yes, we could do in through HIM, our mighty GOD!!!
--------------------
month of october, month of memories...
bt these memories i wouldnt wan it to crop up...
mixed feeling...mixed emotion...hah...
4gt it!face the future!!!


'Cause your flight is about to leave,
And there's more to this brave adventure,
Than you'd ever believe

Saturday, October 9, 2010

lesson learnt

today is quite a meaningful day, for me....

i realize, when i decided to stop my pace for a while, and look around...i found out that, hw cm i would stuck in the whirlpool of immatureness?
hw cm edi 20+ years old ppl, would fight around like kids of 5 years old??or compete for who is the better like 10 years old???forming gang like 15 years old???gosh...i need to think like 20+ years old ppl (wif a childish heart and cuteness of cox, =P)...
is jz like the scene in lifegame...for whole life, i bz wif studying, earning to make end meets, bt when everythng is finish, every effort and work, becm nothingness, burned jz like tat...for the whole life, wad i do would be meaningless...
so decided to stay above the conflict, nt caught in the conflict...of cox it doesnt mean to be ignorance till the house is on fire and im still sleeping soundly on the bed...

2nd thng had learned is, thanks GOD for struck me again be4 i lost the direction...again, suddenly i realize, hw could i go astray so far frm the road??it jz didnt come to my mind that it would be so easy to be attked by satan, and yes, is a spiritual warfare, when we decided to serve GOD wholeheartedly...so close, that im edi lost and forfeit the fire in the heart; so close, that i lost the clear direction who am i serving; so close.....
thank GOD for hitting me, be4 i put out the step which will fall into the canyon of darkness...
and once again, i goin to serve HIM wif burning heart, forsake all the meaningless squabble, and united wif 1 heart (not the 1malaysia stuff) in JESUS....

Friday, October 8, 2010

3am in the morning

time like this, is the time to get emo again, no idea why late nite usually make me emo....

there a lods of weird weird idea, weird weird thinking running through, every second...sometime when havnt finish understand it another thing flashing through the mind again....which prompt me, is anyone really understand what im thinking?heh, smtime i do envy those who haf a best frend beside them, who can understand each other vry well, who always being together doing smthng (not talking bout couple)...well, mayb im too seclude to myself, mayb im always deep into my own thought tat no1 could talk wif me?

is vry ironic, that i could fairly guess sm1 thinking and behaviour, bt i dun think thr much ppl could understand me bac...human generally doesnt like other knw oneself too much as it would make one feel defenseless...

smtime when thinking a lods, my frend told me tat, is time for me to get a gf...hahaha, talking bout this, i do make me fear of it when looking at my couple frend situation...having a gf, izzit it will affect my life, surely it does...would this gal understand me?would she know wad and whr my priority lies?wad if i put smthng else more important than her?and as im nt a humorous, non romantic guy, would she leave me if thr sm1 better than me pass by her??hw would i please her?see those gal always post " xxx numbers of thng a bf should do article", is like, whoa, hw could i manage to please a gal???wad would happen if we fight???*remembering long time ago i would nt able to sleep if this happen*
*shrug, better dun think bout it*

anyway, today been kinda crazy...went to cinema alone, and watched a movie alone, smore the whole cinema virtually is me alone also...special vip??hah, cox i went for a show at 1215pm...watched legend of guardian-owl of ga'hoole...not bad actually, doh it didnt live up to its full potential on the plot...the graphic and scene are epic doh...and i like its theme song...found out is by owl city-to the sky...*highly recommend it, the song i mean, well, the movie aint tat bad either*

thr a lods of thng goin on recently, kinda tired me out...truthfully, didnt look fwd for friday like be4 anymore...shouldnt say too much on this, anyway, i knw whr my burden is and i would stand up my responsibility as long as GOD wan me too...i jz hope the burning heart would not extinguished jz like tat...

ok, i guess enuf of emo-ing, time to sleep!!!
BED and PILLOW, HERE I COME!!!!ops, sorry blanket, almost 4gt bout you too....

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

the month of october

entering the month of october...manz, my favourite month...haha, largely due to its my birthday month...and also the doorstep to year end holiday...

well, wad to expect frm this year october???gosh, i guess it would be...episodic??this year october would be one of the most busiest month of the year, as church choir concert is planned on 24/10...beside, its always exciting waiting the birthday to come, doh this time i wish to go through it peacefully which is jz right after the hectic choir concert, mayb disappear myself to sg??haha...wad to wish this year?well, i do not haf any idea either...also looking fwd is election, not talking bout sarawak election, which is probably end of the year or early next year, ah, 4gt bout tat, im talking bout election in church...actually i largely 4gt bout it edi until last sunday is being mentioned in prayer list...election of (under)graduate fellowship and also choir...wondering wads the outcome of this year, of cox bear in mind that everythng is in GOD hands...

hmmm...wad else to expect??halloween??haha, tat is of cox as thr would be an event goin on in mousehunt...yes, im still playing this facebook game and im still vry into it...kinda exciting when thinking bout it too...event always make ppl go hyper, aint they???

of cox october also bring up old sweet memory tat bury deep inside my head...which the sweetness had fade...especially at the time like this, is quite easy to being emotional when thinking of such thng...nvm bout it, it a history afterall...human need to learn frm history and grow up, rite???

mind u even doh im goin 24, im still young!!hahaha!!!wait, 24 edi??gosh, tats fast...i wonder, if this year i could...........hmmm, everythng in GOD hands and i belif HE edi prepare for me...hehe....

yay!lets celebrate october!!