[notice]

i remember i nvr put any name in this space, nor mention any place~~~

and im wondering how could ppl refer anythng here to names....doh i couldnt care more~

i know smtime i would vent some of my anger here, bt im careful enuf not to put any names here, i could mean any1 in this world~~be it in johor, singapore, kl, penang, melaka, pahang, sabah or sarawak...or mayb even australia, america~~i knw a lods ppl and i could refer to any1 frm any place in this world (the power of internet)~~how could u be so sure im referring a person frm the place im living in??

IF sm1 smhw read through those post, and feel offended, tat would be weird...

usually ppl wouldnt care much if they didnt feel wad written is related to them...much less feel offended...you only will feel angry/offended reading my stuff IF u really fits all the description i put in, rite?

SO, if u feel offended wif anythng i written here, u should think whether u really DID anythng i written, instead of blaming me defaming you, or havin a grudge wif you....a reminder doh, i nvr put any names or places

a chinese saying for such situation-对号入座～

and btw, this is hw i prefer to vent thng out, instead of keeping everythng inside me till i gt psychotic, or confront the real person and make a fight...also i nvr invite any1 to read anythng frm here~so, u could, freely and happily, ignore this page till the end of the world!

kites!

2day passed by a park, and i saw a spectacular view~a lots of kites flying above, and thr a lods of cars and ppl around the parks too~i wonder izzit a kite flyig competition is goin on..

nevertheless, the view, where so many kites flying, and a windy evening, really make the day feel so relaxed~if nt becox im rushing to smwhr else, i would surely stop by and enjoy the view...

if only i could be a kites, flying on the winds, and let the wind blew away all my thoughts...

decided NOT to say anythng, voice anythng, be anythng, think anythng, do anythng, be a ZOMBIE!

Narnia!

went to watch narnia 3, the voyage of the dawn treader~really enjoy this movie, compare to harry potter 7, this movie is much much better!!the storyline is well elaborated, and also wif cool animation, except in the end, it could be a little bit more dramatic, hehe~since the writer of the story is C.S. Lewis, a known christian apologist, the story is also closely related wif christian doctrine~well, it portray those indirectly, it is easily missed if u dun really understand Christian doctrine~

this time, as usual, Aslan, is the parallel of Christ, and they keep mentioning bout Aslan country, which i belif is potraying heaven
Reepicheep life and the character he haf to enter Aslan country in the end
the transformation of Eustace, which he did mention he couldnt change no matter hw hard he try, bt only through the help of Aslan (he turned into a dragon due to his greed)~which i belif is potraying sin and redemption~
in the book, they found Aslan to be a lamb 1st, before transformed into lion, both symbol of Christ, and in the end, asking them to know him by another name, vry tricky part..haha!

anyway, is a vry cool movie and u should watch it urself!!!a must watch movie!

MIA

haha!!being MIA!!until thr ppl nt used to it and asked~so, whr haf i been?haha!bz becm baby sitter!!!oh, of cox not, is bz helping in lifegame~yea, i becm a volunteer in a lifegame, not ordinary lifegame, bt Jr. lifegame~~

its fun, its exciting, and yet vry tiring too~managing kids is always one of my fear, and thr 80+ kids running all around!!bt still, it still a great thng to be able to serve GOD in this special way, teaching kids~~lifegame itself is a vry interesting game, bt teaching and explaining it to kids require a great deal of skill and patience, plus answering all kinds of weird question and control their behaviour~well, u see, if u dun control them, they will end up fighting and running all over the place, disturbing others and creating even more chaos~

while required to wake up 6 and bz until midnite, bt i still feel vry joyful when doing everythng~serving GOD has nvr been so fun!!i hope i haf another chance to do this in d future~

1 thng im kinda shock is, the ppl who org this lifecamp, or our camp manager, start asking me wad  do u like to do...in a vry weird expression, i answered, in what?like singing??he feel funny and say, no, in future, u wan to be wad~and asking wad im study currently and stuff~~

ltr he told me tat, im diff frm other, diff in term of teaching the kids~doh im nt sure wad he meant in this, bt im happy tat he say he could see the passion of teaching in me, thr nvr been sm1 agree wif my way of teaching~it nvr been so encouraging for me to go on along this path as all this long, thr non been vry agreeable wif me leaving engineering field wif high pay for an education field!of cox he did tell me, teaching profession DO NOT haf high pay~bt im happy wif it~of cox im nt intend to tell any1 bout this, as i knw, thr non for me to share the happiness truly, thr smthng more i observed and felt bt i would jz kept this in my heart~

anyway, i think volunteering for lifegame is vry fun, exciting and could let me learn a lods~and reinforce wad i felt last time i joined this lifegame~

p/s: if u stil dunno wad MIA mean, MIA=>missing from action, meaning ur not appearing smwhr for quite a time, be it on9 or sm other activities~

frm my point of view~

genreally, ppl seen playing computer game as a bad thing~blaming those game is the reason of falling grades,  withdrawal frm social, if on9 game is the concern, den extra issue such as virtual world frend is nt real frend even to the extend as dangerous, wasting money if the game require subscription fee, and ultimately wasting precious time!hmm...thr truth on those accusation, no doubt, bt izzit gaming is such a bad thng to do?

of cox excessive gaming bring hazard, bt for me, gaming isnt tat bad totally~
wad?defending gaming cox i play game?haha, yea, if u wan to put it tat way~

well, to an extend, i learnt quite a lods english through playing games, yes, as most game is written in english and reading is always a great way to improve..
withdrawal frm social?nah, especially if on9 game is the concern, if u didnt realize, the on9 world is the social nw~
u cant make a real frend through virtual world??wrong!i gt a lods of on9 frend, which i find they are vry sincere and certainly more sincere than part of my real life frend~

well, 1 thng be4 accusing playing game is bad, for those who didnt play game, is always addicted to watching movie and drama, which is equally bad as playing game if u compare the 'bad' both activities bring~

当你在讲一个人‘中毒’与电脑游戏时，自己是不是也‘中毒’与电视连戏剧呢？？？
y?haha, cox i dun watch drama, but play computer game!! =p
---------------------------------------

一个团队，如果有人在这个团队的活动进行一半时离开，那这个团队还有什么意义？尤其是当重要的活动在进行时？当你委身于参与这个团队的事奉时，不是就要牺牲自己在这团队期间所碰撞到的活动吗？？
回去见朋友？参与自己的活动？或者不回去就是不孝？很好的理由！早知我也提早回去~
这次，我真的是很失望，很没有动力~觉得我做错决定了，一时的冲动，真的会带来失望？哈哈！我只能取笑自己天真的梦想~
既然自己已经决定了，就做好自己应该做的，多余的就不必理太多~

失去~

当我不再多问，不再多理的时候~
那表示我已经失去那热诚，失去那颗心了~
当然我仍会做我应该做的，尽我本分该做的~
但是别希望我会多那份主动，多那份细心~
因为我已经失去那份希望，那盏火焰~

捉住一个人的心，并不是起初的那份感动就足够~
你还需要付出更多，要不然你到最后还是会失去他的心~

=)

christmas come early!

been sometime nt updating agian?haha, nt i haf nth to write, bt i nt wiling to write it down, well, 4gt bout tat~let me jz write a few thng around~~

been to singapore again, walking around...is quite some time since last time i went thr~guess wad, is christmas mood everywhr thr~u see christmass tree, christmas carol, christmas sale, christmas deco...i like the mood, after all is my fav season....even doh they jz start to putting up all those, i can feel the festive mood already, compare to msia?hah, i dun think msia celebrate it much except christian...well, at least my church at johor start havin christmas tree deco already, bt i doubt it will last as fresh till the day, due to poor finishing job, some of the deco edi start to falling of the wall, *awwww*...still, im anticipating a lods on the christmas!

hmm, whr haf i been at sg tat day?walk around vivo city, den to city hall-esplande-marina bay, den novena for ice cream be4 went bac...and i dunno is a gud thng or bad thng, i ate at subway for the 1st time and str8 away fall in love wif it...hehe!!is jz...BOOOM!!of cox nt the apple chips, gosh, tat is yucky for me...dun like the chip texture at all...stil the subway 'sandwich' is jz super tasty~

den when cming bac, i saw the ugly side of malaysian~as the next day is public hol, thr tons of msian goin bac their home, through kranji~the queue is ..wow!frm 1 end of the station to another, waiting for the bus~~den i saw them scrambling up the bus, pushing every1 away, jz to get onto the bus...ignoring the elderly, ignoring the weak, the mission is, getting up the bus at all cost....end up, me and my frend reach the station when no ppl around, and we missed 3 bus...terrible!!even the bus driver shake head at these ppl~shame...

nvm bout tat...i stil enjoy the walk, accompany by 1 of my gud frend...haha!is fun~

thr quite a lods of thng happening around here anyway, which most i dun really like it~doh is nt my concern to say, and thr thngs also been vry discouraging for me, thrashing on my faith and heart...i do nt wish it to happen, bt i jz couldnt help it~i hope it dun keep att me and crumble me, i knw i couldnt hold on much wif this thng keep attking, as my only def against it is praying to GOD for help~1 thng i could say, envy is a vry evil stuff to meddle wif, others hostile stance and remark toward u is also an att tat nt easy to bear wif
----
cmig week will be facing my last 2 paper, hope it goes well =)

a memory~

因为你，今天我才会去到教会
因为你，今天我才会有那么稳固的信心
因为你，今天我才会服事神
因为你，今天我才会关心人（虽然还不是很会啦）
因为你，今天我才会有勇气在人面前讲话
因为你，才会有今天的我
要不是你对我的关心，栽培，鼓励，我相信我现在肯定是另外一个人了
虽然你不在了，我相信以后在天上，我们必定相遇~
谢谢你~在你的生日，也特别的想念你~

translation~
becox of you, i went to church non-stop till today;
becox of you, i haf unmovable faith on my belif;
becox of you, im able serve GOD whole-heartedly;
becox of you, i start to caring for others (doh still learning bout it);
becox of you, im able to stand up and speak in front of ppl;
becox of you, tat wad i am today~
if not of ur caring, teaching and motivation, im a total stranger frm wad i am now
even doh u r nt around us anymore, bt im sure, in the future, we will meet agian in heaven~
thank you!as 2day is ur birthday, miss you a lots!

成功的定义？

每个人的成功定义不同。。
我的成功定义不是赚很多钱；
不是有个可以很常出国工钱很高的工作；
不是有很高权位地位；
不是成为很出名的人；
更不是有个美丽的女朋友/老婆。。。

我的成功定义乃是能够好好的服事那独一真神；
能够好好的为神建立一个神喜悦的教会；
能够好好的奔跑那已经为我预备好的路！

你可以看我为没有志气，没有梦想，
但是我看这一切为虚空，看为捕风~

所以，不要一直将你们的成功定义加在我的身上！

the path

looking forward is the way,
lurking in the past wont help,
clinging on it only bring disaster...
everything in GOD's hand,
believing HIM that everything HE prepared,
is the best and the only way,
worrying on HIS prepared path is extra,
as everything HE directed us,
is nicely prepared and readied for us...
so go forth,
in the name of GOD,
for HIS glory,
as GOD is my only love~~
=)

发泄，闲人免进，内有咬人的pikachu！

今天要在这里发泄一下。。。不要管太多！也不要去猜！

我开始看不下拉!我本人本来就不太喜欢太张扬的人，那就算了，加上很多话的，也就算，话多做事却一大糊涂，我是完全不能接受了！到处拍马屁，让后什么事都做不来，又严重的没有时间观念，大难临头也不懂，又不服责任，更不懂礼貌礼仪，每次都需要别人善后，然后从来没有吸取教训，几年了没有变好，只有变本加厉。。。。话说DISC，我C的人本来就是不喜欢I的人做事方式，但是也不要让我那么反感吧！其他I的人，甚至可以吸引我，令我欣赏，但是你却让我只有一个感觉，越看越反感！观察了那么久，不但懒惰，很多事 你也不去做，好像一个公主，大小姐那样，别人忙着准备，打扫，清洗，我肯定你一定会跑掉，然后在别处有废话一大堆！不是我夸张，我观察了很多次，每次都是这种情况！

没有针对谁，自己对号入座我不管~

忍住自己不要正面冲突，所以在这里发泄~
发泄完毕，跑人！

rain in midnight

staring into the night,
wondering
how the star and moon
behind the misty cold curtain
that engulf the land,
while the trees enjoying
the symphony of the water;
and the birds lying low
in their warm nest;
im pondering into the darkness
searching for the place
where i belong,
once a while
a spark i saw
i thought it was the place
but disappointment followed,
i could only go on,
trying again in the shroud
under the mercy of cold and wet
but pressed on,
hoping to find the place
where i could rest
warmly and cosily
in the cold harsh night

birthday!

hehe...24th bday jz past~~~cool day, well, the weather is cool too!!!
starting wif the kidnapping of me frm my room~gosh, u should see the photo!i really feel like being nabbed by some terrorist, and heading for a gallows!!and they really surprise me as i didnt expect them to appear in my room...nvrtheless, i enjoy it...haha....so happy and touched that they do it for me~~who are them u ask?well, quite a lods...achi, roger, kai zhen, carol, cecelia, mim mim, cny, ande, ah chai, xiong liang, 3kelabu, alvin, fishy, jia jia, ran yan....did i miss out any1??they kidnap my spec too, so they cast me into the world of blurriness...

den whole day replying the wishes on facebook...i guess nowadays ppl use fb more than hp msg!!most of my frend use fb to greet edi...including the belated wishes, tat would be 181 wishes on my fb wall, and thr some use 'tumpang wall post' to greet me...gt spammed..so i dun think i could name every1 of them here as i dun think i could find bac the 1st few post anymore...bt THANK YOU ALL for it~*feel so blessed*...

den havin lunch wif dear sis ah chai at sushi king..haha, is been a while eat a meal wif her edi~so feel so happy!smore celebrating my bday~~end up she gave me a pillow, comfy huggable pillow...haha!until the new car arrive, it will stay at my bed..XP blek!!!THANKS A LODS TOO!!!!love ya!=)

wad else, ohh, celebrating wif my cg~even doh disappointed couldnt go out eat, bt im still happy as every1 of them celebrate it for me...hehe, my cg is always so adorable and warm!!!love you all too!!!minus the part when they being evil bullying me....haha..wad?of cox they evil!as they bullying such a cute adorable and kind little pikachu->me!

guess tat would be my bday for this year...i feel glad for everythng, and praise GOD for givin me such a lovely  frends around me, and of cox the breathe till 24 years old and still counting...well, im nt the glamour ppl around, bt im happy when few of my close frends can remember and celebrate wif me..tat would make my bday perfect edi!who are them?well, u knw if u r one~~ appreciate it a lods!

LOVE YOU ALL!!<3

updates for recent days

finally have the time to update~
choir concert turn out to be successful!!after a whole month of extra practices, planning and worrying, every1 able to do their best, using their voice and sing out loud to our GOD~i hope every1 do experience the love of GOD in the process and also learn smthng new, nt only in singing skill, bt also spiritually...so, this conclude this semester activities, and time for next year planning...

hehe...now is 26/10, 1 day away frm my birthday~expectation??erm....didnt really expect anythng doh...jz hope that no1 will pull a prank on me...hah, halloween is around the corner, ppl do funny stuff during time like this!u nvr knw!thr so many crazy ppl around....bday wishes??doesnt really trust this stuff as it nvr come true?haha!well, jz for tradition, yea, jz wish for smthng bt...i wont tell you wads tat!hehe!waiting to get spammed in fb wall anyway...it always happen...would compile it and write it here after the day, jz like last year...talking bout halloween, frend proposed to haf a pt during tat time, i hope it would happen cox is fun!haha!

anyway, its cfm that next year i will start teaching, in a private sec chinese sch...teaching english at equivalent of form 3 and form 4 in gov sch...frankly, kinda nervous cox i dun haf much experience and knowledge in english...afterall, my english language is not tat gud either...*blaming msia edu system*
ohya, if u do not know wad cfm, it is short form of confirm, or in this case confirmed...uh?cox ppl always ask me wad cfm mean when i used it!

and, exam is around the corner bt i feel nth bt holidays!!!!

who to share?

usually when u have a vry happy news or joyful event happening on u, who would u share wif?loved one?family??friend(S)?

i found it vry hard to share a happy event wif ppl around, be it ur frends or any1 close to you...
y??i nvr know they would see my 'happy event' as happy for them...i nvr knw wad they felt when i told them...happy for me?envy??jealous??or even disgust or hate??
ya..u would say, this is y the header of this page is called joyful always, place whr i could put my joyful event here (of cox it include not joyful one)...

well, bac to the topic..done some 'acid test' sharing my happy event to certain ppl..most of the reaction i gt, as i can see frm their face, is not really a 'happy event' for them-be it does not concern them, or they feel im showing off, or even jz jealous/envy of it...there ppl even reply me, y u tell this to me?wad u wan me to do??or jz a simple word-'so'?of cox there some ppl who try to show interest, and mayb out of social norm, ask hw was it and some congratz, bt i can see frm their face, they dun feel it tat way...
wait, i can do face/emotional reading??well, i guess most of us heard this be4 "u can tell lies wif ur words bt nt ur face"...unless u really know hw to conceal it, usually ur true feeling will be shown clearly at ur face expression...

so, i reached to a conclusion, dont simply share ur happy event wif any1, unless, tat person is really a gud true frend who feel happy and joyful for wad happening on u, wifout any envy and jealous...sound pessimistic??haha, i guess this is the world now...ppl usually care more about themselves, everythng centered on ME instead of others...others 'happy' or 'sad', as long as it doesnt affect ME, will be ignored...this apply to almost all frends, and shockingly, frends frm church too...

anyway, im still feel happy for myself >.< who care wad they think bout it...i knw is a blessing frm GOD and also a trial frm GOD...it could really test my faith to the limit..balancing between financial gain and spiritual gain..gosh, i hope i could keep on wif wad im stand for all this time...prayer needed =)

in the end, if u really really wanna know wads tat happy event i felt bout, haha, u should ask personally...as i said i reached a conclusion for nt simply sharing good and bad news wif every1...mind you, if u jz wanna knw and after tat treating me as showing off, i would knw easily...a true frend is hard to find, so appreciate him/her if u found 1...
for now, i would keep it to my heart....

-----------------------
wif the thng happening...suddenly i feel this suit me...

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

to the sky!

totally fall in love wif two song frm owl city
vanilla twillight and to the sky~~
like the music, the instrument, the lyric and also his dreamy sound...haha

guess such relaxing music is really needed in time like this...at least a space to take breathe...i wonder if every1 being pushed too much, or is jz becox the expectation is set too high and not achievable...no matter which, i fear it would turn out badly and it would be a big failure...i guess no1 would like to see that...no, i dun even dare to imagine it....
so,  i can only pray, and more pray...that GOD would lead us through these critical time...
i do not know, izzit every1 is demotivated?or jz couldnt understand?or is the 1 i dun wanna belif, no1 would take it seriously??hmmm....
bt i hope no matter hw demotivated it is, hw hard it could be, or hw un-seriously it is, is only 2 more weeks!!get through it and all will be over....
i belif, if we really put up the hard work, do our best in every effort, even if the outcome is not as gud as 1 might wan it be, it would still a sweet end....which im sure GOD will bless us abundantly!i belif tat every1 had try their best....and we jz need more prayer, and more faith!!
yes, we could do in through HIM, our mighty GOD!!!
--------------------
month of october, month of memories...
bt these memories i wouldnt wan it to crop up...
mixed feeling...mixed emotion...hah...
4gt it!face the future!!!


'Cause your flight is about to leave,
And there's more to this brave adventure,
Than you'd ever believe

lesson learnt

today is quite a meaningful day, for me....

i realize, when i decided to stop my pace for a while, and look around...i found out that, hw cm i would stuck in the whirlpool of immatureness?
hw cm edi 20+ years old ppl, would fight around like kids of 5 years old??or compete for who is the better like 10 years old???forming gang like 15 years old???gosh...i need to think like 20+ years old ppl (wif a childish heart and cuteness of cox, =P)...
is jz like the scene in lifegame...for whole life, i bz wif studying, earning to make end meets, bt when everythng is finish, every effort and work, becm nothingness, burned jz like tat...for the whole life, wad i do would be meaningless...
so decided to stay above the conflict, nt caught in the conflict...of cox it doesnt mean to be ignorance till the house is on fire and im still sleeping soundly on the bed...

2nd thng had learned is, thanks GOD for struck me again be4 i lost the direction...again, suddenly i realize, hw could i go astray so far frm the road??it jz didnt come to my mind that it would be so easy to be attked by satan, and yes, is a spiritual warfare, when we decided to serve GOD wholeheartedly...so close, that im edi lost and forfeit the fire in the heart; so close, that i lost the clear direction who am i serving; so close.....
thank GOD for hitting me, be4 i put out the step which will fall into the canyon of darkness...
and once again, i goin to serve HIM wif burning heart, forsake all the meaningless squabble, and united wif 1 heart (not the 1malaysia stuff) in JESUS....

3am in the morning

time like this, is the time to get emo again, no idea why late nite usually make me emo....

there a lods of weird weird idea, weird weird thinking running through, every second...sometime when havnt finish understand it another thing flashing through the mind again....which prompt me, is anyone really understand what im thinking?heh, smtime i do envy those who haf a best frend beside them, who can understand each other vry well, who always being together doing smthng (not talking bout couple)...well, mayb im too seclude to myself, mayb im always deep into my own thought tat no1 could talk wif me?

is vry ironic, that i could fairly guess sm1 thinking and behaviour, bt i dun think thr much ppl could understand me bac...human generally doesnt like other knw oneself too much as it would make one feel defenseless...

smtime when thinking a lods, my frend told me tat, is time for me to get a gf...hahaha, talking bout this, i do make me fear of it when looking at my couple frend situation...having a gf, izzit it will affect my life, surely it does...would this gal understand me?would she know wad and whr my priority lies?wad if i put smthng else more important than her?and as im nt a humorous, non romantic guy, would she leave me if thr sm1 better than me pass by her??hw would i please her?see those gal always post " xxx numbers of thng a bf should do article", is like, whoa, hw could i manage to please a gal???wad would happen if we fight???*remembering long time ago i would nt able to sleep if this happen*
*shrug, better dun think bout it*

anyway, today been kinda crazy...went to cinema alone, and watched a movie alone, smore the whole cinema virtually is me alone also...special vip??hah, cox i went for a show at 1215pm...watched legend of guardian-owl of ga'hoole...not bad actually, doh it didnt live up to its full potential on the plot...the graphic and scene are epic doh...and i like its theme song...found out is by owl city-to the sky...*highly recommend it, the song i mean, well, the movie aint tat bad either*

thr a lods of thng goin on recently, kinda tired me out...truthfully, didnt look fwd for friday like be4 anymore...shouldnt say too much on this, anyway, i knw whr my burden is and i would stand up my responsibility as long as GOD wan me too...i jz hope the burning heart would not extinguished jz like tat...

ok, i guess enuf of emo-ing, time to sleep!!!
BED and PILLOW, HERE I COME!!!!ops, sorry blanket, almost 4gt bout you too....

the month of october

entering the month of october...manz, my favourite month...haha, largely due to its my birthday month...and also the doorstep to year end holiday...

well, wad to expect frm this year october???gosh, i guess it would be...episodic??this year october would be one of the most busiest month of the year, as church choir concert is planned on 24/10...beside, its always exciting waiting the birthday to come, doh this time i wish to go through it peacefully which is jz right after the hectic choir concert, mayb disappear myself to sg??haha...wad to wish this year?well, i do not haf any idea either...also looking fwd is election, not talking bout sarawak election, which is probably end of the year or early next year, ah, 4gt bout tat, im talking bout election in church...actually i largely 4gt bout it edi until last sunday is being mentioned in prayer list...election of (under)graduate fellowship and also choir...wondering wads the outcome of this year, of cox bear in mind that everythng is in GOD hands...

hmmm...wad else to expect??halloween??haha, tat is of cox as thr would be an event goin on in mousehunt...yes, im still playing this facebook game and im still vry into it...kinda exciting when thinking bout it too...event always make ppl go hyper, aint they???

of cox october also bring up old sweet memory tat bury deep inside my head...which the sweetness had fade...especially at the time like this, is quite easy to being emotional when thinking of such thng...nvm bout it, it a history afterall...human need to learn frm history and grow up, rite???

mind u even doh im goin 24, im still young!!hahaha!!!wait, 24 edi??gosh, tats fast...i wonder, if this year i could...........hmmm, everythng in GOD hands and i belif HE edi prepare for me...hehe....

yay!lets celebrate october!!

convo!

finally, its convocation day!!!
it feel great when wear the convo robe...like ur in harry potter world?haha, it does haf the similarity....its a sign of achievement and proudness when u r eligible to wear it..when u walk into the 'great hall', u really feel the difference...

anway...should dedicate this to-my parent, my family, my frends who willing to come and attend it!thanks for the gift too!doh i dun think i would ever use some of it...bt tats nt the point, i appreciate every bit of it =)
oh ya, i feel that, out of 4 years, UTM student will sing UTM song two times..once during their orientation week, where they haf no choice bt forced to sing, 2nd would be the time during convocation ceremony, where they sing  whole-heartedly...

admit the happy moment, there sm disappointment deep in the heart, bt i guess i would keep this disappointment deep inside my heart...hehe, as the joyful moment are better to be remembered...

to all my frend who grad, HAPPY GRADUATION AND GUD LUCK FOR THE ROAD AHEAD! =)

以福音为耻？

对一个课题，我一直觉得很矛盾，很奇怪，也很不明白~

我被教导，不要以福音为耻。。这句话，是保罗说的，不过，真的能不能做到这样呢？？
不以福音为耻，只是关于传福音罢了呢？？还是包括我们基督徒的身份？？
很常我们基督徒做一件事时，就会想别人接受的了吗？？他们会不会觉得我们很奇怪？？我们会不会太极端？我们是不是要配合他们，不要那么‘基督徒’？他们接受的了我们赞美，敬拜我们的上帝吗？？一直讲耶稣他们能接受吗？？

如果那样的考虑，会不会是我们已经以福音为耻了呢？？？为什么身为基督徒的那么不敢现出基督徒平常在教堂里面做的事呢？？这是以福音为耻了吗？？我不懂。。

我记得，这世界是属于魔鬼撒旦的控制，那着表示这世界是与上帝，与耶稣基督为敌。。。那身为上帝儿女/子民的基督徒，也自然而然的与这世界为敌。。。既然这个敌对的关系存在，有可能我们怎样做，会被这世界所接受吗？不管我们怎样的考量这世界的‘接受度’，不管我们怎样配合，这敌对的关系始终还是敌对的关系，魔鬼不可能因为我们比较‘俗世’一点，就会接受我们基督徒在这世界上，不可能~因为这世界是永远不会接受我们基督徒的。。

但是，如果我们整天口里讲耶稣，讲上帝，给人看我们怎么敬拜，赞美，讲不属乎世界的东西，我们有担心与他们有代沟，那又会导致无法向他们传福音，保罗也说过，在怎样的群体中就作怎样的人，那这个底线又在哪里？？我不懂。。

我们基督徒在社会，在世界的底线是什么？要放胆传福音？要考量他们的接受程度？很矛盾啊！！zzZzZzZzzzz......

chorale camp

is been so long im touched by songs...its not easy for me to feel wanna cry when listening to some song...bt yet, it happen yesterday, during the concert in the chorale camp....

this chorale camp again is a blast...so much i had learn...not only the technic, but also the attitude when serving GOD...i learn to be humble, which is somethng vry important~wifout humble, thr nth else u can learn as u always overlook ur own weakness....

beside, rarely i see sm1 whu is so passionate and so particular wif music quality...i saw the frustration when the music is spoiled, even if is jz tiny weenee bit...i guess if we are having regular practice like in choir instead of during a camp, im sure we will gt scold like the end of the world...

anyway, this chorale camp really a great camp...i nvr regret when participating such camp, as i could learn a lods, instead of normal camp which only go for fun and enjoyment...thr only thng i really dislike about the camp, well, couldnt really blame the org as is not in their control, is the air-con!!ITS FREAKING COLD!!!other than tat, everythng is excellent...i hope next year i could join such camp agian...

the feeling of practicing hard, and finally perform it out, is really a joyful thng to do...some more we perform not for entertainment of ppl, bt is for GOD, this make the difference...i couldnt find anythng more joyful, more satisfying than serving GOD in music...and thr really a passion, that raising awareness, building up and helping my church in praise and worship as well as choir...even doh i knw im nt qualify to do so, bt i will always improve myself, so tat 1 day, i could do this...especially my church in sarawak, smtime when i see it, is really heartbreaking when music/praise and worship ministry is being treated like that by every1...

i duno if any1 could see the picture, that when every1, every christian is praising the GOD, worship HIM through music, through chorale, is really beautiful, like wad describe in bible, that in future, we would 4eva praising HIM and worship HIM....

music is the most beautiful way to express our praise and worship to our GOD...is always the most beautiful thng, that u could gif to our almighty GOD...i hope every1 could look seriously in this, as wheneva i see, i heard ppl doesnt really care bout thng like this, it really anger me, or i could say, really disappointed and sad wif it...every1 should gif their best to GOD, instead of do it for the sake of doing it, or jz out of pure enjoyment, or for popularity!

glory to GOD~

Elijah!

hehe...time to update update a bit...
been leaving this poor bloggy for quite some time edi =(

anyway...last week is the best week eva!y?becox of the two concert i attended...nt pop sing concert of cox!
the 1st is some sacred song concert...really nice and cool, doh a lods of the song i do nt understand as is in italian, i guess....
the 2nd, yet the best so far in my life, Elijah oratorio....is really really really awesome!!
also is the 1st time entered singapore esplanade...really cool and amazing place...is really a place which rich wif art and culture....thr random ppl performing thr, cool scenery and atmosphere, and nice food....
nvm bout those, the main point!the oratorio!!is really so cool til i cant describe wif word alone!!its like, like, watching a movie!!a movie bout life of Elijah....the scene and picture, it jz appear in ur mind while listen to them!

hard to belif eh?

anyway, apart frm tat, the bass solo-ist, is so handsome!haha!
now, i had listened Elijah, St. Paul both by mendelssohn, Creation by haydn...thr 1 more epic oratorio that i mz go when i haf the chance!messiah by handel!!i wonder when i wil haf the chance...*wait wait wait wait....*

事奉主？还是？？？

一个人不能事奉2个主，不是恶这个爱那个，就是重这个轻那个，你们不能事奉上帝又事奉玛门~

人为什么去事奉玛门?因为人的忧虑...耶稣讲了上面的话,就告诉人不要忧虑...为何忧虑？因为小信，对神的信心不够~所以才会去依靠那看得见,有保障的钱财~

人放不下钱财因为人对生活有许多的忧虑，这忧虑就是不相信神的大能~

圣经不是说，耶和华是我的牧者，我比不至缺乏吗？？还有，你是我的主，我的好处不在你以外吗？？

但是，人就是不相信上帝的预备，连基督徒也是一样，不相信上帝就是他们的产业，不相信上帝能解决他们的困境，不相信上帝在未来已经丰富的预备了．．．

这样，人就会靠自己，用全部的精力在投资，理财的事情上，也就是想尽办法赚更多钱，希望能累计更多财富。。。他们找投资专家，理财高手，找可靠的公司，寻找高薪的工作，完全只看那玛门，因为财富是平安的保障，稳定的依靠～

这就是事奉玛门，你说你有参与教会，尽心事奉～当需要牺牲，背起那沉重的十架时，就有诸多的借口，不愿为主付出更多～生活的喜怒哀乐也常常系与钱财上，做任何事，第一都考虑钱的，就是事奉玛门，就是重钱财轻上帝～

对许多人来说，信仰犹如菜市场，需要时去购买就可以了，更不会为其付上一切的代价。。。保罗将耶稣基督看为至宝，将万事看为粪土，尽一生之力为要得着基督～

当洪水以前的日子，人照常吃喝嫁娶，直到挪亚进入方舟的那日；不知不觉洪水来了，把他们全都冲去。人子降临也要这样~~

记得昨天慧娴突然打电话给我，邀我去ｉｖｃｃ听个讲座。。。原来是巴生杨牧师来，讲关于末世宣教的一些课题～要谢谢她～～牧师说到，有５个大爆炸～

第一，就是人口大爆炸，历史以来，没有一个时间比现在的人口增长还要快，而且能住的地方就差不多都有个人。。神赐给人类２大使命，第一就是繁殖众多，遍满这地，看来这个大使命差不多要完成了

第二，资讯大爆炸，从来没有那么多的知识流量。。。也通过这个，神给我们的第二大使命也快完成了，就是将福音传至地极，现在在世界哪个角落，都可以上到网，得到一些资讯，连深山野林也能，只要能够连接到太空的卫星就行了。。。你认为时间还没到吗？？福音还没传遍天下吗？？你要记得，并不是说所有人都信主才是传遍天下！！！

第三，.......不记得了＝．＝｜｜｜

第四，天灾大爆炸，这个每天都可以看到，地震，火山，台风，土崩，战争。。。。。

第五，地球大爆炸，也就是神再来，废去这地，再造一个新天新地～～～

牧师从但以理书来看末世预言，说道许多都已经应验，尤其是当以色列复国那一日起，许多圣经的预言，以前看不懂的，现在就能解了。。。

人们现在眼前都是钱，如何赚更多钱，要如何成功，如何得到名利地位钱财，却不知我们的时日不多，所处在末世时期了。。难道地上的财富那么重要吗？？地上的名利地位那么重要吗？？？可不知当那日来到时，这一切已经成为过去吗？？？你认为，神会说，你很多钱，我让你进天国吗？？你很有地位，你可以戴那荣耀冠冕吗？？断乎不是！！圣经说，这一切都是粪土～

你说，我是为生活而烦才努力赚钱，难道你就不相信神会为你预备吗？？圣经也说，你们这小信的人哪！野地里的草今天还在，明天就丢在炉里，上帝还给它这样的装饰，何况是你们呢！

基督徒们哪，警醒吧！！世上的人们哪，警醒吧！！因我们已经处在这末世时期了！！！

宣教一谈

宣教，一个基督徒应该做的，一个责任，一个使命~~

我们应该去宣教，宣教是什么呢？？简单的一句话，传那天国的福音，引人归向主。。。

对，就是那句，引人归向主~一个真正的基督徒，一个重生得救的基督徒，一定没有问题，因为他们知道，了解福音，并且相信。。。一个人了解一样东西时，自然而然，没有问题的告诉别人。。。

问题来了，那为什么现在那么多基督徒对宣教冷感？或不敢对别人讲福音？？

本身觉得因素很多。。。可能是教会的活动方向，注重于团契与玩乐，可能是害怕讲，面对自己熟悉的人，更难开口，因为怕被拒绝，伤到感情。。。这是正常的，这也是为什么，在去做这事工，需要训练，让基督徒更能掌握福音的要点，面对突发状况，或回答一些难题~~

这也是为什么，参加教会短宣，一定要上宣教课程，了解一些传福音的方式。。当然，传福音的方式有很多，也因人而异，但是那4个重点肯定会有，只是让人明白的方式不同罢了。。。一个人喜欢用个人见证来传福音，就不能说全部人一定要用这个方式，我可以用4个属灵定律。。。而且对不同的人也有不同的方式来传。。。要不然可能会浪费时间，甚至弄巧反拙。。

最近也一直听到人说，utm学生很怕基督徒来传福音，我满脸疑惑的问，怎说？

当一栋楼的其中一个人看到/遇到传福音的基督徒，他们会立刻通知整栋楼的朋友，告诉他们关灯。。。。waaaaa....好像遇到鬼那样！有那么恐怖吗？？？比来做direct sale的人反应更大

-.-|||

要不然就是会说，我不排斥基督徒，但是千万不要向我传福音！要不然我翻脸！

趣闻？不是，我认为是危机！一个很大的危机！什么原因会让他们那么怕传福音的人？？

一个人不会无缘无故对一样事务反感，不会一生出来就对基督徒有抗拒心~不会，肯定不会，

就算一个在虔诚的异教徒家庭成长，也不会有那么大的成见。。。到底是什么原因？

很简单，就是基督徒自己让他们反感。。。可能是在成长过程发生，可能在大学遇到，但肯定的是，是有人让他们反感。。。。可以是生活见证，也可以是传福音的方式，不管怎样，还是基督徒自己的作为。。。

这叫什么？这叫绊倒人！使人拒绝福音的，不是罪吗？？我不知道，我不是神，我不能定人的罪。。。但是肯定的是，使人拒绝福音，就是违背了基督徒的大使命，大责任。。。去年，我还记得，我因为绊倒人，内疚到很久，亏欠了很久，因为我本身，担当不起这个神对我的责罚，虽然没有人会怪我，但是，我心里就是过不去，我相信这是圣灵的责罚，我感受过， 除了回到神面前真的忏悔，我怎样逃避就是逃不掉这责罚。。自从那次，我就小心翼翼，不要重复这情况，虽然我不能说我将来不会再作种事，因为我还是软弱的一个人。。。

当你绊倒人时，而且也知道时，还能赞美神吗？这好像说我做了一件美事，值得赞美吗？？不！应该做的是认罪，反省！因为你让一个人离开主，失去信心，或者是你让多一个人拒绝福音，让多一个人沉沦了！神的意愿是不愿意人沉沦，乃愿人人悔改，怎么你可以与神作反对党呢？？这好像是敌基督才会做的事吧？？

你怎能说，当一个人被绊倒时，不是我的责任，而是神的责任呢？？他能不能再站起来，不是我的责任，而是神的责任呢？？我只需要继续传福音，赞美神~

如果是这样，我宁愿不去传，免得我受神责罚，免得我又使更多灵魂失去得救的机会，赞美神？还会有那喜乐的灵来赞美神吗？？还唱的出歌？

如果你能，那你就没有爱灵魂的心了，建议你去找牧师谈谈。。。

在写到这里时，我想起已经决定要参与今年的短宣，其实，本来没有什么意愿要参加的，因为很想回家，想玩maple，哈！坦白的跟你说！但是要谢谢angeline和秀娟，到最后一直缠着我，叫我去。。angeline还更可爱，send给我一整封写“感动”这两个字的msg，还不够，又send一整封的“再感动”这3个字的msg。。就想了想，好像很久没有在圣诞节期间事奉了，开始想念以前报佳音，圣诞晚会，那种努力事奉的热诚再次燃起，就决定，放弃玩乐，参与短宣。。

坦白说，当我挂断电话，后悔的心情立刻出现，现在偶尔还是会那样觉得，因为，我不能在那期间与网上的朋友庆祝圣诞节了，他们真的是我很要好的朋友，虽然没有见过面。。。不说这，现在我还是很常努力压这后悔的心情。。。还是要谢谢那真的很好笑的angeline!

我要做的是得人渔夫，不是使人沉沦的敌基督

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random post

recently im always tired to the max!!
bz for whole day, really make me feel like wanna collapse any min~bt still joyful for it as im doing wad i like, and for GOD~

today i decided to drop my social psychology, due to the clash of a stupid 30%-worth-of-mark trip and my choir concert...i guess for me is obvious to choose which, as i didnt really consider long for the decision...i hope wad i decide wont end up in bad consequences....i leave this to the hand of GOD~i knw i will regret for the rest of my life if i gif up on this~~

looking fwd to the coming two concert in the end of this month...
27/8 and 29/8
personally, more excited wif 29th as is been a while i go for an oratorio, and best of all is, this time will be at SG, esplanade!!my 1st time goin to a philharmonic theater/concert hall(wonder if it is the correct term)...also probably will be goin and haunt juju thr, haha!see hw she doin at sg...

also, been noticing quite a lods ppl lately, and found out a lods ppl had changed...for the better of cox...feel glad and happy wif them...even if they dunno whu they are...a lods of them edi grown up, and way mature than be4....well, im nt the kind of ppl easily convinced and belif stuff until proofed..well, their action, speech, and thinking is gud enuf to convince me on their changed...i hope they will strive harder, work harder for GOD!!and i hope, really hope that they wont get frustrated or broken hearted when met some obstacle..jyjy!!

to be really random post...
heres a random fact!
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

National Education Philosophy?

Falsafah pendidikan Malaysia
"Pendidikan di Malaysia adalah suatu usaha berterusan ke arah memperkembangkan lagi potensi individu secara menyeluruh dan bersepadu untuk mewujudkan insan yang seimbang dan harmonis dari segi intelek, rohani, emosi dan jasmani berdasarkan kepercayaan dan kepatuhan kepada Tuhan. Usaha ini adalah bagi melahirkan rakyat Malaysia yang berilmu pengetahuan, berketerampilan, berakhlak mulia, bertanggungjawab dan berkeupayaan mencapai kesejahteraan diri serta memberi sumbangan terhadap keharmonian dan kemakmuran masyarakat dan negara"


Malaysia's National Education Philosophy 
"Education in Malaysia is an on-going efforts towards further developing the potential of individuals in a holistic and integrated manner, so as to produce individuals who are intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and physically balanced and harmonic, based on a firm belief in and devotion to God. Such an effort is designed to produce Malaysian citizens who are knowledgeable and competent, who possess high moral standards and who are responsible and capable of achieving high level of personal well-being as well as being able to contribute to the harmony and betterment of the family, the society and the nation at large"


i know all teacher in malaysia require to MEMORIZE this when they go for interview, for recruitment, posting, or i suppose also for promotion...bt i wonder, and im curious, do they understand wad does this philosophy mean?as i stumble this sm whr in faculty, i jz wondering.....wad is this education philosophy is about~~~wonder any ppl could explain it to me and hw our education system work toward it =)

the joy

hehe....saturday, on9 at church currently, waiting for the fellowship to start, which is bout 2 hrs ltr -.-
nice cool rainy weather, such a nice day to sleep bt end up need to go church early..under the rain....doh occurred a feeling of wanna stay in rm, bt stil force myself here...heavy rain, bt weird i enjoy it..haha, mayb too long nvr play under the rain>.<

anyway, yesterday bee a really really tiring day...frm discussion till choir...bt thr 1 thng i feel really happy bout..is hw ppl really put the dedication and hard-work in learning smthng...frm totally dunno anythng, trying their best to learn, and nw, they can almost do wad they cant do few months bac den!it really gif me the joy and motivation...the joy for being a teacher?hehe...yea...

anyway, stop here, cya next time =)

finally im bac here!hehe...sry for the mia>.<...
anyway, thr nth much to write too...been bz wif church activity, there smore coming up->friday choir, saturday fellowship + bass guitarist, special dinner for welcming cg jr, cming wednesday outing to kota tinggi....bt vry happy wif all these...hehe...especially working together wif other cg member, 2gether planning, working it out...

of cox i still haf a lods question and doubt on the policy the management ppl make for cg, bt i guess im jz happy wif every1 of my cg...*ignorance is a bliss*

ps: been having extreme bad luck in mousehunt...stupid evil mouse!curse u!!wait till i catch u, i will torture you!!

our teachers

3rd week of the semester....

everythng jz as usual, except more time is require to do some reading and mayb soon, journal searching for assgment (yea, im still very lazy to start doing it)....currently cutting off myself from facebook and msn, trying this for 1 day...thr 4 hours left be4 i gona reconnect myself bac(the time i writing this post)...hah!of cox, i still read news and blogging, on9...what, u think i can post this blog frm the middle of ocean??

3 weeks, what did i learn?generally, ppl haf vry wrong perception in psychology...dun even mention specific field like educational psychology..since most of my frend knw im studyin edu psy, occasionally they will ask me, whu did u 'psycho' edi, u dun hypnotize me, dun read my mind...the only reaction i can gif is  -.-|||

no, psychology is not bout mind readin, not hypnotize, and sry i totally dun understand wad this word 'psycho' mean...so wad is psychology??mayb u should go do some reading at wikipedia (recently im always surfing and reading on wikipedia, purposely searching smthng or jz find random article)..the overview is, edu psy is a scientific field concern with development, evaluation and application of principle and theory of human learning, in educational field...in other word, hw human mind and thinking develop and function....

so i hope next time i wont find myself trying to answer some weird or stupid question!hehe...

talking bout 'stupid' this word...thr occur a discussion in class today....again, of cox, related to teaching profession again(im studying in education faculty, wad do you expect?)...the scenario is like this:

as we studying bout brain anatomy and function today, my lect suddenly ask, 'like we usually say USE YOUR BRAIN, so does we really didnt use our brain?'den, sitting far behind, a few teacher, whu teach like 10 or 20 years or more (1 of thm is almost 57 years old) say, 'yea, when we teach till fustrated, when we scold student, in fact smtime we scold them using word like STUPID, MORON, COW DUNG etc., smtime we dun use stupid cox student understand it, so more complicated word like moron, cow dung as student wont understand...den the discussion on these word continue, which i didnt listen much as i keep thinking on these word and its implication on students...be4 they finish discuss, i heard those teacher say, smtime jz say USE YOUR USELESS BRAIN......

den i feel like...wtcrab, all of u taking education psychology, edi 3rd or 4th semester...still dun understand that these words DO haf implication on student...ya, student do becm naughty, and smtime required some disciplinary action, bt when u scold, the wording use mz be careful...im jz studying for 3 weeks, learning all the psychology theory, and it is obvious to me that, everythng, frm action and gesture to language and word really affect human development...short term mayb be demoralizing to the student, long term may affect the cognitive development of the student...

worse still, when these teacher discuss bout this issue, they seem vry happy and taking joy on insulting their students....i remember one of my lect say, in western country, they dun even use disability this word on their student, they dun even term their student performance as FAIL...saying fail this word is insulting...my gosh...they always blame student for nt understanding and graping the knowledge, bt they nvr realise, when student fail to understand certain thng, is the teachers' FAULT??where they DONT KNOW how to teach the student effectively??

yes, DONT BLAME THE STUDENT when they fail, but BLAME URSELF for failing to teach them!

TEACHERS OF MALAYSIA....

T_T

no wonder the problem in sch nvr get solve, as teacher itself is unprofessional and low quality...epic sadness!

spoiler: this does nt imply on ALL teacher in msia, but im sure that at least half of the teacher would be like this

>>currently trying to compare malaysia education system with singapore and western education system...hope sm1 frm sg can explain hw sg system work =p

teaching profession

attending class for the 2nd week...thngs rather settle down edi...rushing towards me would be assignment and projects...the class is rather diff than in fkkksa...i do not knw is becox this is master class or becox of diff faculty, ppl rather speak out more than the lect smtime...the ppl attending also frm all kind of age and background, bt most of thm are current teacher, teaching in sch all around johor...there are ppl like me, taking master course directly after degree, frm engineering faculty or education faculty, ppl that frm foreign country, ppl that frm clinical psychology, ppl whu teaching for 10 years+, ppl whu do couselling to prison inmate....thr all kind of ppl...

bt wad worried me is the education system in msia...jz by observing those whu are still teaching in sch, it really make me wondering, hw in the 1st place they can becm teacher, and also those whu are jz graduated wif degree frm education faculty...as they talk, speak and read, it is nt hard to notice they really haf poor command of english...well, im nt tat gud in the 1st place, bt the thng is, they are certainly worse than me..and they are teaching in sch!2day, there ppl pronouce obsessive as obessive, isolation as is-o-lation etc.!can u belif tat?a teacher?read like tat?4gt the pronunciation, thr lecturer whu dun understand proper english sentence, taking the meaning word by word literally, always out of the context....-.-

there are lect whu goin to penalize ppl for using too much english in class, there are ppl whu dun like to use english in class, there are really bad english user teaching in sch, sec sch or primary sch doesnt matter, even if they use bm, the bm they use is also non standard bt mixed up wif their slang...is this the real quality of our msia teacher??hmmm....

teacher is the 1 whu will be guiding our youngs, teaching thm and mould thm into a successful person...it should be the best person whu do this job...bt i guess in msia, is not...mostly is those whu cant get into medical, pharmacy, engineering field, whu left wif no other choice, go for education and becm a teacher...tat is probably y, when i choose to go for master in education, i get all sort of surprise reaction, all sort of 'wad a waste' reaction..or even 'so stupid decision' reaction...does the pay of a job really so important to see a success of sm1??

hey, teacher is not only a profession like doctor or engineer, it is the most noble job in the world...ALL the prestige doctor and engineer, scientist and dentist, they all becox thr is teacher, guiding thm when they are young, inspire them and encourage them to be wad they are today!they are not the 2nd alternative job, certainly not a waste and shameful job!

the mentality of msian teacher should change, listening to the lecture grumbling bout the teacher and sch in msia, i feel really sad...nwadays teacher jz nt dedicated enuf anymore...of cox, not all, bt most of thm...they didnt see thmself as the engineer of human soul anymore, rather than a job goin into class and pour everythng out to the student, wifout caring hw they gona accept those knowledge...not to mention the adminstration, and the political motivated policy....

TO THE CURRENT TEACHER AND TEACHER GONA BE PPL!!
please, remember, teachers are engineer of human soul, not the 2nd class job, not the last alternative, and certainly not a shameful job!teacher, are those whu build and mould our children, to becm a great person, to someone whu 1 day, will becm a great contributor to the nation, or even human race...whu knw one day, ur student will becm president, like obama?becm scientist, like einstien?or sm1 whu would change the course of the world???
if u really think that u couldnt take up the challenge, couldnt dedicated to this job, u really should quit it instead of destroying a future president/scientist/nobel prize winner.....

i hope, if i haf the chance, would be a great teacher, and i hope, every teacher will be proud of wad they are, dedicated thmself to craft the human civilization and every1 respect teaching profession as it deserves =)

envy and dissapointment

its wednesday(is thrusday actually, bt im still on wednesday cox i havnt call it a day yet =p)...

a bit envy on those ppl whu able to attend SOP concert....they keep updating and posting stuff on fb, making ppl like me really nt feeling so gud...due to classes ended at 7pm, i jz cant make it in time...and no1 would be tat kind enuf waiting for me till tat late...so, i jz missed tat 2 nite of concert...really feel the sour-ish in the heart...
awww......they boasting hw gud they are, hw magnificent the atmosphere is....and i jz couldnt make myself thr!!!!yea yea, i knw u ppl haf a great time thr, learn a lods....bt dun show off pls =p
nvm....get over it....im jz jealous, no hard feeling...

adding to the bad feeling....
finally i met a lecturer i dun really like in fp...yes, u heard that right...i jz haf a bad perception on lecturer whu insist on using malay language...no matter hw much excuse they giving, in the end, they all haf 1 thng in common...they either cant talk well in english or cant understand well in english...this lect also belong to this same group...after much observation on his english, the conclusion, he cant understand well enuf, always get the wrong meaning when ppl asking him in english...even doh he using english slide, he cant explain well, skipping fast through the slide and talking nonsense story...not only that, this lect, even force every1 buy his 'precious' book, of cox written in malay, AGAIN, and this particular book is nt even the main text of the subject....

and smthng i couldnt help to resist 'hating' him, he upheld extremist racial line, exalting ruling party corruption practice, and sort of forcing every1 to agree that malay is the 1st class race and other race as 'pendatang', twisting some of the history fact...hey, i studied history of msia, i knw vry well wad happen bac then!im nt sm1 whu treat history as nonsense and waste of time in sch last time...i read news, mainstream or alternative, and i haf my own view bout wad happening in the country...dun try to feed me wif wrong fact....yea, i can 100% cfm tat he is a BN hardcore supporter...

one thing bout the lect of my course is they are sm1 u can simply meddling wif...they all knw bout psychology, and they knw well hw to counter and convince you to agree wif thm...he put his word so well tat u jz cant deny in the 1st thought...after all, he teaching me social psychology, knw vry well hw ppl think and interact, jz by observing you....no, nt sm1 u can jz simply rebel against....jz for few days attending 1st class, looking and flipping through the notes and books, it gif me a sort of chilling to my spine on wad u can do if u understand wad ppl think and interact wif others...mind control?nah...they could convice ppl relatively easy as they could understand hw u think...

anyway, the final word of the ranting, i dun like this lect....i decided to study into this subj more on my own instead of listening to him and his book/notes...i will get myself a proper english language book and read through myself...

p/s: of cox i need to study on my own for all subj instead of waiting the lect...=p

stupid octopus!

few day didnt write anythng...hehe
nw im bac to update tiny little bit of life...

yea, finally world cup has ended...spain is the champion, after the cruel 120mins of struggling....last 3 min goal make thm cry!!!haha!doh nt as entertaining as germany uruguay match, bt it is equal exciting and breathe taking!!nvm, those whu dunno hw to appriciate ftball and world cup will nvr understand...those whu will im sure they also watched till 6am in the morning....thr even ppl  waving spanish flag after the victory, in msia!!!i wonder whr they get it...im sure u cant buy foreign country flag in msia easily...mayb next time i get myself a brazilian flag??haha!

den 2day also the 1st day of the new semester....1st class...9am...reach thr, class cancel...zzz!!!they should say earlier, so tat i can cont sleep(remember i watch fifa till 6am?)..i guess the lecturer also watchin it tat y he cant make it to the class...lmao!!!
den 2nd class, behaviour disorder...sort of understand and a lods of dun understand...2 much education related term..=( need a catch up on those thng....and even chosen becm class representative...awww!smthng i dun really like much, bt oh well...no choice....bt i still like the subject...hehe, since such topic always interest me, no matter hw hard.....

-------------------------------------------

anyway, in this world cup period, i found tat ppl kinda vry fond of predicting stuff....a little octopus, a cute little bird, can becm such a hot topic, hotter than the fifa match itself...everytime after the match, i always found this speech, 'whu win???izzit same as the octopus predicted??wow!he so pro can predict!!wad bout the bird prediction?wad bout next match?did the octopus preditc tat team win???'

i jz dun understand y the fuss bout those creatures...izzit future predicting always fascinate human??i guess so...in non-fifa period, u can always see ppl vry fond of horoscope, and all sort of future predicting stuff...
i can only end up wif 1 conclusion, human is always feel insecure bout their future, so anythng related to predicitng up cming event will sort of bringing thm hope, sense of security, or guidance or jz some motivation...which make thm so fond on stuff like this, no matter they realize it or nt...

ppl, so pls jz top talking bout the octopus, the bird, the horoscope wif me...i jz dun belif it, in fact, i rather hate it....u jz cannot belif some sort of star or planet control ur life and fate, isnt it??they jz smthng in the universe...smthng beautiful, bt not ur life controlling factor....and i jz cant belif a small octopus haf physic power, or else i would jz eat it to gain tat power....=)

献上最好

献上最好,

不是凭你认为最美,

不是凭你认为最好......

献上最好,

不是凭你自己所爱,

不是凭你认为神悦纳......

献上最好

不是你凝定它的等次,

不是你评荐它的价值......

而乃是神,

亲自对你要求的呈现,

虽然你觉得埋没人才,

觉得心受委屈,

不觉得最好......

不要自己成为神.....

还有几个人记得这首诗歌呢???

miss maple =(

currently staying in utm, doing nth!!!bored everyday~~while brazil lost their world cup match at quarter final, wow, who would expect that???awww, they are my fav team too...bt this make world cup even more interesting...hehe

anyway, found out that i seldom blog thng bout maple...hehe, yea nt until liting say she "digging" at here to find out bout past memory on maple...haha...anyway, after playing maple for so long, yes, i still like it...nt becox the gameplay only, bt becox of frends....wifout thm, maple would be boring....of cox, on the way, thr a lods ppl quit and nvr play again...bt thr always new frend the meet, and some becm really gud buddy, even doh i nvr meet thm...

mayb i should write down those whu i appreaciate most(of cox thr too many i could remember all wifout looking at the bl list, so i jz write down whu i remember nw)

the oldest of all would be ppl frm windydreams->smarty(smartjacql), liting(sierra), lizhen(lizzie), shief(noobshief), rain(Rain0fbless), jay(jaylee), er0, ong, ben(he is evil, pure evil), jason, sasa(mysasa), jen, sian, windy, greeny, neo(my precious sis)...
den frm old time training party->staff(infernostaff), snagy(snagiez), wx(sryxaiius), jamjam...
frm pq and no idea hw-> aki(akiharu), juju(no idea hw and nw becm my sis), both my sun nu(ralyn and baby, yes i miss both of thm SUPER LODS), evil c0c0, xiin(yea, i miss chatting and havin fun wif you, doh nw seldom haf time sit down and chat), qq nu er, amanda(kikyou, haha, gud tat ur in my fb), kristy(4gt wad ur ign edi), nar(nar11, yes, 1 day i will bully all the sand bunny and kill evil PB!!) ...
frm ultimus->pck(darkcleric/shaun), maca, shy, tess, radio, lic, reft, porc(yea, my cute porcupine <3)

->the list will be added once i remembered!and the list is not according to order =)

currently these is i could think of, wifout u all, it will nvr be the same!!!!!ppl say on9 frend are nt trustable...bt i think it depend...especially those frm wds, my sis, my sun nu, and those frm bl-aki, juju, snag, jam, staff etc. they all are really nice and gud ppl...doh nvr see thm(some i meet be4), bt they are those whu can talk wif, even better than some ppl u meet in rl....these ppl are those whu use heart to make frend...yea, at least i feel it tat way, and im sure they too...

if u tell me, on9 frend are dangerous, un-trustable, cunning, evil .....no, they are nt, these ppl are not!i didnt regret meeting thm...even if quitted maple, they will be my long life frend, eva!
bt still, u need to becareful when making on9 frend too..hehehe, thr always evil cunning ppl out thr trying to con u...hehe....

i miss maple, i miss thm!

01072010

so did u realize it???2day is 01/07/2010....yes, half year had past officially!!!
still remember wad new year resolution u made at 1/1/2010???hehehe


think bout it...it wont be long be4 31/12/2010 reaching ur door step!!!

dreams?living?life?

去了life game过后，这2个星期以来，一直想，人生真的是如此吗？？读书，毕业，深造，做工，赚钱，结婚，生子，然后就接近尾声？？年复一年，从古到今，循环不变吗？？我越想，越觉得生命的真正意义是什么？什么才是我真正应该在这短短的人生做的？？
读书读的好好，然后找份工，努力赚钱，然后养家，或则享受，旅行？要不然就自己创业？打出一番事业，做老板，赚大钱？要不然为自己的名誉，攀上名声和权利的高峰？要不然安然守己，过平淡的生活？？？

说来说去，还不是离不开->钱？？？我这年龄，95%的人都去做工，要不然就是还在考虑深造。。。每天facebook不是看到interview，就是开始做工，然后就说做工很累，很无聊，过后领薪水，很开心，买这东西，花那娱乐，吃这个，看那些。。。然后又是做工，怎样面对上司同事，回家就说很累，月尾领薪水，然后又从头开始。。。不管是在本地，或是要到国外，或是目标说要成为senior engineer，或老板，到最后，都是为了要赚多点钱。。。。
真的就是这样吗？？赚钱，然后享受，再赚更多，再找更好的享受，再赚钱。。。。。。

可能我不是从很贫困的家庭出生，没有遇到没有钱吃饭的情况，你说我不懂钱的重要。。。
可能你也觉得，我要赚多多钱，孝顺父母，奉献给教会多多。。。
可能你说钱就是一切，有钱什么就可以，没钱什么都不能（你不要说钱买不到爱，买不到感情，甚至可能你说过，一段恋情，没有钱根本不能继续，要不然说，没有钱没有车，你最不到女孩子的，没有钱不能约女生出来等等）。。。

难道人生，就是为钱而活？

你可以说，我做工，带职服事！我做工，为了奉献更多。。。是的，没有错，如果没有人做这些，连教会都不能运作。。。

但是，去了life game过后，给我本身觉得，如果我这样，真的是没有什么意义，是一个我不想要的生活。。。

我听过人说，做工，可以做好见证，带人信主啊。。。不过，我到现在还没有看过成功的例子，但是很常看到怎样和同事去玩，怎样与同事交往，怎样面对上司，怎样应付工作的忙碌。。。
我听过人说，拿到权利，可以做好见证，让人看见基督徒的领袖风范。。。不过，我到现在还没有看过一个领袖，说我去教会，我以基督徒的立场看，就算有一个真的基督徒领袖那样，媒体，人民看的，通常是领袖的丑闻，坏事。。。
我听过人说，平平淡淡就好，最幸福。。。不过，我到现在看到的，不是为家务忙，就是每天做工，回家，做工，回家。。。

到底何谓真正值得我去做的呢，值得我去活的生活呢？？？
到我这个年龄，朋友都是谈做工，生活，然后有些已经结婚。。。。我看过去，想了想，我一定要走这个路吗？？我还能跳出来，过一个真正有意义的生活吗？？
你可以说我没有梦想，没有目标。。我坦白，我失去一个让我觉得值得去追寻的梦想，一个值得我活出的目标。。。因为，我真的觉得生活是个虚空，捕风。。。圣经说的没错，日光之下没有新事，现在发生的，以前也已经发生，而且还要继续的发生。。。我真想跳出这个圈圈，不要做一些让我觉得空虚空洞的事，为了满足物质享受而活。。。。。

愿神真的可以带领我，让我看到，神为我预备的路，我相信，神预备的，肯定可以满足我这空虚的心灵，然我觉得值得去追求，去活出的生活。。。。

寻找，寻找。。。。。何事可以填满我这空虚的心灵~~~

national anthem...

fifa world cup being on the run for 1 week + edi...a lods of interesting and boring match around...i guess a lods ppl watching and also a lods of ppl dun even care bout it...anyway, watching the match, i found out somethng vry pathetic on our country...

everytime be4 the start of the match, both team will line up and haf their national anthem being played...everytime i watch, every team will stand str8 and sing loudly of their national anthem, as every each of thm being proud of it...nt only that, the whole stadium would also raise and sing as passionate as they can...

looking bac at malaysia, wad would ppl do when national anthem being played??jz at sec sch, no1 would bother to sing it..as if nt being forced to stand str8...during festival?during any event when msia national anthem being played???90% of the ppl, if nt 99%, would nt bother bout it, or even feel ashame if they stand str8 for it, nt mentioning singing it....

when would i see a scene, where every malaysia be proud of their national anthem???sing loudly and passionately bout it???

-purpose driven life-

the purpose driven life-since life is preparation for eternity, i want to use my time on Earth fulfilling GOD's purpose for me!

WORSHIP-i was planned for GOD's pleasure, i will use this day to get to know and love GOD better
FELLOWSHIP-i was formed for GOD's family, i will use this day to show love to other believers
DISCIPLESHIP-i was created to become like CHRIST, i will use this day to make choices that grow my character
MINISTRY-i was shaped to serve GOD, i will use this day to serve GOD by serving others
EVANGELISM-i was made for a mission, i will use this day to share the good news

-------------------------------------------------------
after went to lifegame, there smthng really obvious to me....education level really make the difference on hw ppl thinks and react....how they make decision, how they plan strategy and played the game, how they think....so it is clear tat if u wan to mix into a certain group of ppl, u need to throughly understand hw they think and decide, else they will reject you and see you as an alien...ppl doesnt only divide into group by age and race, but also the level of education they haf...hmm....

beside, they smthng really concerned me after i visit sarikei..i wonder it is me or the time had changed....i cant stop noticing youngster today more likely to use vulgar than the time i had, they tend to haf longer and untidy hair style, more self-centered and ego than eva...hmm...and 1 thng i really dun understand, they even laugh me for havin a bible....i noticed tat thr a big increased in the number of ppl attending sunday service, is a gud thing, bt i also noticed that most of thm neva bring their own bible, nor sing the hymns...at 1st i tot the bible verse will be shown on the screen, bt no...or mayb most of thm haf a copy of bible in their hp?or is a shame to haf a bible as they laugh me bringin a bible around?hmmm.....or mayb im jz thinkin too much??

hmmmmm.....nvm of that, i will do my best to live out the 5 purpose of my life!as im nt the one who can judge ppl, is GOD who has the authority to do that...i will make sure i will be my best to live out what HE intend for me....!!!

life game-aftermath

finally im bac to kuching after travelling to sibu and sarikei...

yea...life game is great...it remind me how unaware i can be and the promise i had almost forget and ignore in the midst of bzness and ignorance...it gif me great motivation to strive ahead and do more for GOD...yes, i remember wad i had promised to do, and i will answer the call as ready as ever...
and yes, i will be more aware of thng happen around us...the sign is clear...the time is running out!!!it really tell a lods bout wad kind of life u gona led if u choose this path...it really worth for those whu nvr participate be4...
and of cox, im vry glad to know new frends, and also old frends that 2gether play the game wif me...is really really fun to haf u all in this life game...=)

-lucky it jz a game or i will be doomed-

sarikei?changed a lods...not only the town, bt also at church...a lods of new faces i do nt recognize...bt still, old frend still the same as eva...i love my old church~~~also new shop, new business all sprung up around sarikei....whaoo..is quite a big town thr nw....and best of all, sugarbun is really nice too...nice food, nice place...better than kfc for sure...no wonder they can renovate and expand...haha!

now thinkin ahead...putting wad i had learn and promise in life game in my heart...and keep it burning as the time is near and i should be more aware and do more than nw wad im doing!

excitement...

hehe...seem like most of ppl gettin bored in holidays edi...wonder hws every1 passing everyday...mine??is quite gud...
robin hood is a great movie...bt nt much of arrow shooting which the legend talk bout him, instead is bout hw the legend begins...wonder hw many truth and history in the movie had shown, war and rivalry in medieval europe, mayb this is the time whr britian is fear by its long bow archer, which is shown in the movie...no matter, the movie is great....

current mood is exciting...no becox of the life game camp, bt the wish of goin to sarikei, and bac to the church i grown up...ahhh...waiting waiting and hope the day come...i miss every1 over thr...

---------------
a camp for fun, a camp for learning, i would say like that...hw ppl choose, will show whr they heart lies...lets wait and see...it sure bring out lods of surprise...ppl might in defense, learning yea, bt the price is too much for me to bear...well, bac to the usual saying, if ur heart lies thr, this would nt be a big problem...it also a camp for learning and grow up, izzit?tell me which part and convince me, as far as i remember, its nt...anyway, every1 haf their freedom to choose either 1, or both, or neither...nth wrong wif that...jz an opinion only...
a thought which constantly bug me these days...
---------------

joy and despair for every1....

str8 to the point,

msia lost thomas cup, as expected...thrs ppl disappointed, thrs angry, thrs ppl in joy...well, better luck next time...msia badminton really goin down hill if no new talent is found, or the current player improve their game...heard frm the tv, china player strategy is not clinging at world 1st player, bt to be the 1st in world biggest event like thomas cup and olympic...msia player strategy is join as many super series as they can to get most point for their world ranking...probably this lead to disappointment for msia evrytime they act on big event like thomas cup, after all when they join every tournament they wont meet world best player, rite??gratz to china and korea on their success...

DAP win sibu by-election, as expected...again thers ppl disappointed, thrs angry, and MOST of the ppl around me in joy...found out tat ruling coalition really haf a bad reputation among youngster and urban area citizen...no matter hw much money is given out, it cant be helped....well, thr is nth sure in politics, in 1 year time, they gona go through another state election, by then, we will see hw thngs go on...gratz to DAP and PR for their success...

------------
chat wif my frend and suddenly tot of---- whether i should go bac johor or nt...some part of me doesnt feel wanna do tat, i dunno why...wad if i really gif up and nt heading bac to johor and stay in kch instead??
wad would happen?hw thngs will go on??wad should i do instead??hw would every1 see me as??would they see me as liar??izzit a correct decision to cont study?or go for work?or jz stay and study in kch??hmmmm.....
------------

Recap and down the road =)

its been a while..hehe..helo all....
nth much happening doh...is holiday after all...

recap on those looking fwd to stuff...
1st would be my form 6 classmate gathering...its a BOOM!yea, so happy to meet every1, doh nt every1 can attend, bt few of us do take the effort and come...and is really fun and i enjoyed the time 2gether...do hope tat we can do tat again smtime in the future...also hope every1 of u haf a success in life...=)
2nd would be the movie..ahh, wonder when can i go..hehe...
3rd is the pianist..well, the day havnt come yet...
4th is mousehunt game..yea, enjoyed it..hehe....event always make ppl excited...=p

after bout..hmm, almost 3 weeks at home, yea, i admit starting to lose touch wif every1 frm uni...wonder hw every1 doin and hw life...except those whu write blog, which at least i could read and knw wad big event happening in their life, others basically is in a 4th dimension which seem i couldnt manage to reach thm at all...nvm of it...jz hope every1 is doing great =)

month of May, the recent hot topic:-
thomas cup and Sibu parliament election...thomas cup is a must see for every1 in msia..yea, every1 is watchin hw our national team perform...they beat nigeria in 1st round, lost to japan...entered quater final and beat denmark...they will be facing china in semi...wonder hw they gonna pass this stage...all the big hype tat msia haf high chance to win again jz a boast?or it can be reality???clung onto ur TV and watch!!or u could jz tag along in ur facebook and see all ur frend update...yes, is amazing tat u can sort of following the live scoreboard on ur facebook wall, thr like around 10 of my frends updating the score in fb, live, as fast as the tv can show u!!

while playin maplestory recently, i met sm1 when i walk around..suddenly say hi to me..so of cox out of courtesy, i will hi bac...den smthng shock me yet agian...she say she see me smwhr be4..guess wad, she seen me be4 frm fb..read through my blog....
GOSH...the power of technology...
so guys and gals, do take care of wad u write, wad u post, and whu u tag in facebook or blogs...especially ur pic and stuff which are privacy to urself or jz ur frends..u nvr knw whu reading it...
of cox, im happy to meet new ppl through fb and blog..hi new frends, whueva u are...u can always leave a shoutout, a post, or even a msg through my blog and fb yea...^^

ok..is almost 4am, i guess i should go and sleep...nite nitez alll

OH YA!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SIERRA aka Li Ting!!!grow older again yea!!!hope that u will score a flying colour in ur exam, and haf a joyful life, stay cool, stay pretty!!!and dun be evil..hahaha!!!!

[currently vry much into this song-You Raise Me Up, by Josh Gorban]

looking fwd to!

im still enjoying the holiday...not getting anywhere near boredom!!
thr few thng i looking fwd to:

1. form 6 class gathering....yea, planning is on d way, on fb...hope it will be a success....vry anxious to meet every1 after we part so long...hehe
2. movie day...mentioned be4, the movie i wanna watch...robin hood...hehe
3. becm a pianist in church again...manz, is been so long tat im a pianist agian...hehe...bt hope everythng will be fine....
4. mousehunt event??haha...thr an event on this friday which i looking fwd to participate 2...this game jz attract me to the extreme...and is being listed as 20 top most popular application in fb...cool!

anyway, is still holiday...and i dunno why the time i sleep becm more and more..=.=||| and i gt hungry so easily!!even if i didnt move around much...

one more thng...my tooth is broken even more...remember like 2 years ago i mention bout i break part of my tooth...it jz becm worse jz nw..LOL, after eating french bread...haha...no idea wad would it becm next...

ok..i think tat would be enuf...holiday really make me kinda lazy to write stuff...bt i will nt go holiday for blogging..no no no!!hehe...

iron man and ip man...

now i understand y IP man..is sound so weird when we read it as I-P MAN..in fact, it is read as IP MAN in Cantonese..LOL...cant blame me, since it coincide wif the release of iron man, automatically i will read the MAN same as iron man's MAN...

tot of wad superman, spider man, iron man, and new IP man...bt is wrong..hah!!!
really make me ROFL!!!

thx my sis for the enlightening...hahaha!!!

gathering!!

back in kuching...finally, by cancelling the bangkok trip...hah, *talk to myself* bangkok seem to dangerous to go anyway...nvm bout tat...hehe...let it be...im over wif tat edi!

well, been home for almost 1 week...start to miss quite a lods ppl...dun wanna mention the names..the list is too long =p yea, as long as u reading this, ur in the list *i hope*....i wonder hw every1 doin out thr...bz having practical, bz assgment project and stuff, or bz sleeping and on9? hah! i guess 80% fall on the last activity...

skip all that, well, today having fun gather wif few of my ex classmate...ahh, is been SO LONG neva seen thm edi!is so nice to meet thm again and chat around...hehe, doh only 4 of us, bt is enuf to make my day =) we chat for some time, den went for movie..gosh, the cinema was so FULL...the seat for iron man 2 even sold out...

1st time went to Spring MBO cinema...walking into the cinema gif me a vry grandiose feel, nt the shabby feel at skudai...so, whu say west malaysia is more advance than sarawak??hehe, thr smthng sarawak is better than west malaysia...okok, enuf bout the cinema, wad bout the movie??since iron man is sold out, left for us of cox is IP man..talking bout IP man, i still dun understand Y IP MAN..nt HP man?or PP man??anyway, the show is quite nice...nt much to comment bout it...

so, the gathering is a great success for me, at least i havin a great time.. hehe...really do hope we could do it more often, and really make a gathering =p looking fwd to it currently...since our class monitor agree to org 1 edi..haha..yes, class monitor, u see that right..once our class monitor, ALWAYS our class monitor..haha..so yee ling!!!faster plan yea...hahaha

recently, thr a lods thng happening to my frends..i do feel vry sad for thm...
so if YOU read this, you knw whu you are, remember, i always support u, and stand by ur side..really, and i will always be thr to listen for you...be strong, and u can go through it!!yes, i belif u can!!!

i guess is enuf for this post...tata!!

p/s: during the movie, i saw an ad, bout a coming soon movie, named ROBIN HOOD...yea, gt vry interested wif it..so probably will go and watch...any1 wanna join??hehe

hehe..
enjoying the time at home...
what else to do??beside relaxing??nth!!
haha...probably will get bored soon..bt oh well, thr nth much i can do bout it...thinkin a lods of stuff bt cant do anythng bout it either...so jz leave it anyway....

yea, i miss some ppl,very very much...dunno when i could see thm again...=(
of cox thr gather, thr depart...so may this station would be a new journey for every1...strive on, strive hard every1!!!

the final countdown

its the final countdown~~~*make tat song appear in ur head and down the post when u read through*

yea, finally the time has come, the time of the end~~~

after submitted hard bound thesis, den is officially graduated...by 2day, 2molo, ppls i seen for 4 years, would nt be seen around, mayb 4eva...kinda sad uhh...yea, i will miss most of thm...time flies...

i hope every1 will haf a joyful life after this station...dream of meeting every1 again in the future...luckily i would nt need to endure the pain of watchin every1 left..it would be vry emo and sad looking thm goin inside car, and left u 4eva...rather hide in the pillow and voicing out the last greeting to thm...anyway, thx for the technology advancement, we still can meet most of the time through facebook, msn and mayb blog~~

haha...i really hope every1 of you would succeed in ur life, and may GOD lead every1 of you in the future...

=)

yes, i promise i will update soon...
i promise i promise..
it will be done soon!!

神权，人权，政权（2）

一些有趣的重点：

政权的堕落

1. 因为神的许可，那一个人才能站在治理的位子上
2. 教会应当成为社会的榜样。。
3. 众多没有智慧的人，用他的人权来做结论，那你会发现众多的声音就会代替真理。。就如犹太人大声呼喊：钉他十字架，钉他十字架。。圣经说，因为他们的声音大声，所以他们就胜利了
4. 智慧与权柄不能并行合一时，必产生混乱

神许可与任凭

1. 上帝对亚当说，你要修理看守。。不是管辖毁坏。。人权舆地球环保的责任是交织不能分开
2. 神权的4层次：神的旨意在永恒的计划，神的旨意在历史中的安排，神的意志自由在人犯罪后的许可，神暂时所任凭的事
3. 神许可的政权，为了奖赏罚恶，为了表现神的公义。。但因政权有有罪的人掌权，所以耶稣才说我们是世上的光，好世人看见你们的好行为，便将荣耀归给你们在天上的父
4. 上帝的儿女一定是最好吗？一定要选基督徒为总统？不是-有些上帝的儿女是饭桶，虽然得救，却依然做事不负责任。。普遍恩惠（common grace）-神许多恩惠，给基督徒，也给非基督徒，神叫日头照好人也照歹人，不是为了你，而是而了整个社会的安定。。神将普遍之恩放在实行政权之人心里，但不等于他们一定跟随，也就是政权败坏的原因
5. 现在许多小组教会要你不必听，马上说，所以那样的教会表面很兴旺，热心的信徒一大堆，结果却常常违背圣经的原则，随便的乱讲！
6. 因神的许可，政府可以延；因神的任凭，政府可以行恶、践踏人权。但神的时间到了，政权就要改换。。

the realm of non-existence

it seem like i have walked into a strange realm,
a world where i could not understand,
a place i could not communicate,
a dimension i could not stay;

how on earth i end up at here?
i do not know,
it just seem like the great things,
had become a past,
a history, no one would care,
a myth, slowly forgotten;

i hope this just a dream,
but i know this is worse than nightmare,
which i will never wake up,
forever stay with me;

i thought this last moment,
would be the most beautiful of all,
but instead it become the ugliest,
giving me not only despair and grief,
but also scar deep into my heart,
which i would never forget...
-----------------------------

yes and i dunno why, everythng had changed, in just few month..suddenly every1 is jz so stranger to me...the last moment which usually ppl would dear most, but it becm a nitemare for me...seeing my frends leaving status and comment which show the bond of frendship and love, i envy thm..cox wad i gt is hostility and isolation...ppl i care most, place i love most, it doesnt same anymore...

probably becox im nt the one whu together walk pass this 4 years, probably becox im jz a passer-by, probably becox im nt that kind of humorous ppl, probably i being serious in too many thng, probably im jz too wierd to be understand and mixed wif...i shouldnt put so much of my time into thm...
yea, they talk bout love and forgiveness,
yes, they talk bout love ur enemy and giving to thm,
yes, they talk bout their faith and boast their frendship,
but it to me it jz an empty talk,
so empty that even vacuum could not even compare with it...

for few week, i sit in the van, where i could feel,
im just like a non existence creature,
i climb in walk out, no one knw,
even i hear 1 of thm say,
hey, u been in the van all the time?hw cm i dunno bout it...
mayb, mayb i gt the cloak of invisibility..

enuf of tat, even if im like a chameleon to thm, i can be a butterfly to other...
the world is not onlt consist of that few glamouring attention attractant ppls...
as usual since long time ago,
i can mix well wif ppl younger than me compare to same age and older than me...
i do not knw y, bt i knw i can trust thm and sincere with thm...
again they wil be my sweet dream in the worst nitemare...
=)

p/s: to those in my blog's link, and do not update their blog for, erm, mayb few months, ur link will be removed..is spring cleaning again ...well, mayb im a bit late, bt better than never..hehe =)

神权，人权，政权（1）

一些有趣的重点：

1. 神权在人权之上，人权在政权之上。。。人权的根源是神的形象，在乎人的本质，政权却是人堕落之后才产生的，人管人的政权原不是神永恒所定的旨意。。。
2. 很多基督徒读经就是读，读，读。。只是为了多背一些经文，来跟人家比赛。。。读经的时候，应该盼望可以了解古今中外各种学派，他们在同样题目上作过怎样的论述，然后再看圣经高超的地方在那里，圣经不同的地方在那里，最后我们才用最可能被人明白的词句把其中的不同表达出来，使当代的人得着古旧的信息。。。
3. 进化论？当你说“他算什么”改成“我算什么”，你就进步了。。当你说“他算什么，我算什么”改成“人算什么”你就进步了。。当你把“他算什么，我算什么，人算什么”摆在神面前改成“我们算什么”你就进化了。。。
4. 你们做仆人的，要顺从你们的主人；你们做主人的，要待你们的仆人如同弟兄一般。。。圣经对人权的尊重
5. 罪不是一个违背法律的行为，罪就是：先轻看、先侮辱、先践踏、先挪移神所为你定那原有的方位和位分。
6. 最坏的政府，比没有政府还好。。。绝对的权利产生绝对的腐败，绝对的毁灭（the total power will produce total corruption）
7. 基督徒应当有政治意识，政治觉悟，政治责任感，政治参与，但是，你没有权柄用你的政治偏见或政治主观的见解，把整个社会拉去跟你同一条路
8. 政权存在的目的是护卫人性的尊严，保卫国民安全，提高人类的幸福，把律法运行在人的社会中，使人与人可以真正的彼此尊重，不彼此伤害的地步，但却是消极的；做基督徒的就要对世人说，你更需要认识在政府上的政府，在法律上面的法律，在宝座上的宝座，这样神权在人间，才能够把人类提升到最高，最幸福的境界

the assault by the MONSTER!

he do not have the sharp teeth
nor the sharp claw;
yet he instill nervous and fear
to everyone in this world;
no one can escape his clutch
young or old
man or woman;
fighting him require immense courage and valor
determination and dedication
as he do not leave any chance;
carelessness will pay
not only with sadness and tear
but also future and life;

O MONSTER OF EXAM,
i swear with the sword and shield
that i craft for so long,
will defeat and conquer you,
where i will emerge victorious
taking your treasure
as my honour and pride....

-----

the tree starting to bloom in flower
shiny golden yellow under the sun
as the tree being crowned
you know you will win this fight
and emerge victory like a knight
bringing pride and honour
to the country and yourself!

to everyone who facing final exam!GOOD LUCK!!!