zzz!

超级的不爽~~~
平常都没有什么意见， 甚至有时我还问，有没有问题，结果回答都是~erm，很好，没有问题~~
但突然有一个所谓的美女（读作霉女）讲话时，这些男生就一边倒，突然觉得她讲的很对，就说有问题。。。
(#$)#$*)#U^(^*)$

grumbling

sometime is jz tiring to put a mask on ur face to face all these people...i found that, most people only think of them self, no longer put others feeling and position first anymore...some even trying to put their own standard and ways on others...
terrible...i just hope i do not need to face such people all the time...lurking inside the house...hah!!

anyway, just grumbling..been long time never pour somthing inside out already....

fanfare for the common man

while driving, heard bout this song...
a song written in response to the US entry into the second world war...
only realize we usually unknowingly heard this song in tv on anything related to second war world~
enjoy =)

tired.........

im tired...exhausted frm within~~
lots of thing happened i guess, in my mind~
i guess is been quite some time i didnt spend time alone for myself~
time to keep myself away frm everything for a while?
haha~
bt most depressing stuff is cming frm school~
is kinda hard to make a decision to quit~and after make tat decision, it is still quite hard to hold myself together~i love the students, yet some of the students i wish i would nvr need to teach them~i love teaching, yet some circumstances make me do not like to continue at thr...
i guess i need to take some time to heal frm such ...wound....
such struggling cost me to used up all my energy, making me literary exhausted for other stuff, even lost the passion for choir too(doh some other stuff also contributed to it)~~
probably i jz need some(lots) time to rest...tats all~

anyway, enuf grumbling~~~hahaha!!!enjoy the few day of relaxation 1st be4 starting again completing the thesis >.<

I WANT TO PLAY MAPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!i miss all my maple frends!!!!!!!

-----------------------------------

要警醒祷告，在这末世时代更应如此~但却看到一些人们把吃喝玩乐排第一，领袖如此，会友亦是，叫教会如何复兴？？心中的悲痛真的难以用笔墨形容~这也难怪一直无法鼓励更多人参与祷告会，领袖都不愿意出席，说做工很忙，但却有时间去吃喝玩乐，甚至带更多人参与去吃喝玩乐。。咳！只能说社会的诱惑是很大的，轻易的把人引诱离开，忘了祷告的重要性~

庆幸教会仍然有一群弟兄姐妹，在忙也愿意以祷告扶持教会与社会，尤其看到教会一些执事们的用心，更让我应向他们学习，很感动听他说，有时间，就一定来，还带一家大小一起来，教会就需要这样的人，不住的为教会与社会祷告，那样才能使教会复兴起来~

truth!

some people posted a math question online and make a big fuss around the world~~
for few days, facebook wall is spammed with those question attached wif vote~and quite interestingly a huge number of people chosen the wrong answer...

so, does the majority vote changed the truth??certainly not!lets say, u cant say there is no gravity even if more than half of the people on the Earth deny it....so, the moral of the story, majority vote does not mean it is the truth all the time~~

some hard truth is hard to accept and people tend to ignore or deny it, bt it is still the truth, even if most ppl vote against it!

金，火，冰～

金钱诱惑是很大的～
选择为人师长，在马来西亚是不会赚很多钱的～
有时想，为什么要这么笨，放弃本身的科系前途，选择教育？？
化学工程师，不是讲笑的～
不时听到朋友赚这么多，待遇这么好，出国的出国，出海的出海，有些得到的是我的１０倍，少则也有１倍多．．
想着自己，每天被学生气，被＂上头＂烦与剥削，不禁会让我想放弃教育行列～
内心原本的热诚不断的被这些冰块冷却，慢慢的变为石头般冷酷～
现在，唯一留住我在学校的是，那群学生～
但是，上个星期，连这些学生也将冰块丢向我，再加上朋友的炫耀．．．．．．．．．

我，还可以撑多久呢？？？？
这火炭，还会红烧多久呢？？
那封信，在抽屉里，不断的用“心灵感应”呼唤我了～

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
有些人还真小气，身为老师的老师，常常叫学生看见师长要行礼，自己却连看老师一眼都没有．．．
难怪学生也越来越嚣张～
看笑话～
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

我介意，因为我在意～
我生气，却痛在心里～

－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

weird~

i do not understand, why people would like to interfere and spread gossip around?what does this act could gif them?there things which really doesnt concern them, and yet they like to ask and ask, or even give opinion and standard, especially when someone getting in relationship, wad would one have to do wif beside tat two person who getting in relationship??

why would ppl like to set their own standard on who should get together wif who??a beauty is in the eye of beholder, a person doesnt seem to be beautiful to you mayb is an angel to another, so y would sm1 like to comment bout it the criteria and person who to choose to be partner wif???

weird and very weird!

even weirder is....there people who are so proud that would never admit own mistake and ask for apology, but loudly proclaim tat he or she did~

the weirdest of all?
hah, why would some1 wanna discuss about an issue which thr is no room for discussion?and spend quite a lengthy time on it??if there is no room for discussion or way to accommodate/tolerate each other, pls, dun discuss about it in the first place~

if you feel im talking bout you?oh pls, only the person who do it would feel being pierced by arrow~else, u will see it as just another mystery of human behaviour~

望十架

神圣壮严的十架   我常抬头仰望

双目如见宝血倾流   为我忍受死亡

望十架  为你  他被钉上

圣羔羊   高挂在木头上

留心看   救主满脸慈祥

他为你   在十架上死亡

望十架   将死亡独生子

圣羔羊   高挂在木头上

在爱里   他伤心而流泪

望十架   他死我得自由

不要离开  不要离开

他向你伸出钉痕的双手

当仰望   他是完全无罪

圣羔羊   高挂在木头上

内心里   真感受他的爱

付出代价   付得心甘情愿

不要离开  不要离开

要仰望   十字架

看着他   是他代你受苦

圣羔羊   高挂在木头上

世上的光   今囚在黑暗里

在十架上   他身心极悲伤

不要离开  不要离开

他向你伸出钉痕的双手

不要离开   看他受伤肋旁

不要离开   看他在十架上

望十架   为你他被钉上

望十架   看他恩慈的王

不要离开   不要离开

望十架！

————————————

复活节的一首歌

每次听，每次都有很大的感触

看着歌词，唱着这歌

就好像我站在耶稣被钉的十架下

看见自己的可恶，自己的罪

神在十架那种的眼神看着我

这种眼神下，人通常会离开不看

但这首歌却一直说，不要离开

定睛看着耶稣

看他如何为这我受苦

如何为这我牺牲

在这受难节

当仰望十架

思想神为我们做的那牺牲

为了拯救这将他钉十架的人~

some wondering~

finally there time and energy for me to scribble around here...hehe!
been thinking bout a issue lately.. corporal punishment in sch~does this outdated?barbaric?non humane???hmm...

saw a magazine which ultimately reject corporal punishment, a student magazine which every student haf full access to it, inciting the student to say no and stand up against corporal punishment~read on article in newspaper where few people debate with each other for a span of few days on the topic...
so, wad is the final conclusion on this issue??no idea~~posted on facebook status but no teacher would gif their opinion on this, nor the students and friends...

personally, i think corporal punishment should not be banned...why??you asked me, doesnt it inhumane and barbaric??i think not if being administered wif responsible and care...

those irresponsible who beaten until bruises and wound, or even worse, death (which coincidently just happened yesterday in a religious sch) should ultimately end up with punishment themself of cox!

just look at the kids today, unlike previous generation, where they do not really faced the corporal punishment from school nor home, instead being pampered and treated like kings and queens~
unlike previous generation, they generally do not respect teachers and elders, expecting everyone also treating them like kings and queens...if you donno, the way they respond to teachers and elder, the way they treat wad teacher asking them to do, is really terrible...evidence??

for example when i asked a student to stand up and answer a question, the 1st reaction they gif and say is *loudly* WHAT?! or smtime in chinese or dialect 做什么？？！ zo ma gai???they nt even bother to stand up smtime until u asked them~
or asking them to pick up rubbish, they could turn their back on you, even if you know the rubbish is belong to them!
some even challenge you when u try to punish them for the mistake they make...
or walk so close to you and put their face so close to urs, as if they are mafia and trying to intimidate you...

respect?gone!dignity?gone!who to blame??teachers?schools?parents?systems??no idea!
for wad i know is...even if u touch the slightest on these students, u get into trouble...or to some cases in recent years, even scolding is unacceptable!!there are sign whr homework is also a no with the excuse tat they having a lods of tuition and classes after sch...

tat is why i still support a restricted use on corporal punishment~even doh other method is encouraged, punishment smtime muz be given as last choice....for the sake of the students~human doesnt learn from goodies and reward all the time...bt most of the time, from pain and sadness too~~

爱

能握着你的手，撑着伞，慢慢的走在雨天路上~是那么的幸福~

孤军作战？

我觉得我知道为什么我会那么累，那么没有力气~
看见周围的人，一个一个的离开，剩我一个人孤军作战，很伤心，完全的失去士气在继续面对这群可爱的学生~~~纵然我对教育有很大的热诚，但是在这种情况下，完全提不起那种力量继续走下去，不懂可以撑多久，没有了这群朋友的在旁的一起奋斗，不知我可以从何得到那动力去面对上面与下面的战场 =(

整天，坐在办公室，就是死气沉沉，没有心情，完全不懂该如何说出这种感觉~

“残障人士”级电话

我的电话变成“残障人士”了~~除了接电话，什么都不能做~~~伤心！！！！！！
=(!!!!
本来出去前还好好，哪里知道，突然间什么都不能按，除了号码和拨打与挂电~~
除非有电脑，要不然信息是不能看，不能回复~~不过至少还可以让我上网~>.<
笨笨的电话！！！

还是很伤心啊！！亏我那么善待它！！！

考试与考卷~~

今天虽然没有上课，但是却还是要回去学校‘坐’，觉得很废，很浪费时间~~结果就带了耳机，一边听歌，一边改考卷，其他老师说我真的会享受生活，我直接-.-|||，其实如果每天能在学校一边听歌，一边改簿子，备课，真的是很幸福的，不过，应该会直接被叫到校长室训话吧~~~

改完了考卷， 虽然学生成绩不是很好，但是，给我还算满意，因为我大概了解他们的程度，不能强求~~
不过，有几个学生，真的让我出乎预料，根本没有想过他们能够考的那么好~~太高兴了~~希望他们真的以后也能那样好~~~
其实，教了大概2个月多，有些学生，真的让我觉得很可爱，很喜欢去他们的班，有一些者让我很讨厌，很不喜欢见到他们~~不知不觉，我是对一些学生有偏心，因为他们真的懂得怎样体谅老师，并很懂事，另一些则真的让我觉得很无助，很想帮他们，却不知如何下手，更伤心是他们没有想过要帮自己，只懂在班上，不是睡觉就是干扰整个课室，完全没有那种心要学习，更不用说会进步~~

监考时，看见很强烈的对比，前面班的同学，会努力去做，后面班的，考试才进行10分钟，他们已经趴在桌上睡觉，没有选择的题目直接放空，没收考卷时，他们反而更开心（因为可以名正言顺的睡觉）。。。真的让我想，为什么他们会没有那份毅力，那份motivation呢？？到底他们为什么会那么快放弃学业，放弃成绩，放弃自己呢？？
*要努力寻找那答案*

我很期待学校假期！！！
从来没有那么期待过！！
放假！！！！！！！！！
原来老师比学生更期待假期~哈哈！！

personality test

human is a complicated creature...as i study personality psychology this semester, this is even more obvious...or in another word, u wont be able to find 2 exact similar personality human in this world~as i try to observe ppl around me~each of them are unique wif their thinking and style, wif diff degree of acceptance and rejection toward a certain occasion and issue~some who dun even care wad ur opinion are while some aways follow the other ways, some like to haf attention on them while other always stay away frm the stage light...anyway, im a unique human either, every1 is unique as this is wad GOD created us for~each wif diff specialty and weakness, to help and love each other, and to worship and glorify HIM~~

doh thr is no specific type of personality for a person, the personality test is a gud reference and indicator for a person in most of the occasion, a tendency to behave like tat...tat probably is the free will tat GOD gif us, or else we would be like a programmed robotic machine which couldnt act freely~

for assgment purpose, did an on9 personality test (no idea hw valid it would be), obtain a result which is quite similar wif my style and thinking in most occasion (as thr always exception)....ISTP according to MBTI~wads tat u might ask, GOOGLE IT!! XP

1 thng for sure, even doh i study such subject, thr is no way i could guess wad a person is thinking bout, unless tat person willing to share...recently my frend ask me why i could guess wad is she thinking about, i could only explain tat i know her well enuf, as she willing to share certain thng wif me, and unknowingly allow me to understand her more, beside of the facial expression tat could gif more hint and clue~

in conclusion, human are complicated!!hah!!

------------------------

extremely worry->pls pls pls get well soon!

----------------------

hypermarket!

usually i do not haf any particular feeling toward hypermarket~bt yesterday incident really let me haf a bad impression on a hypermarket, and feel good on another hypermarket~~
y so?
as yesterday been walking and buying stuff at sutera mall, yea, now u knw which one im talking bout~i took a 'bottle' of chewing gum~jz beside the paying counter while queuing for my turn~
when finish checking out the stuff, suddenly i found price discrepancy on tat chewing gum~a 50cents difference on the price tag at the shelf~gosh, tat is a big amount for a hypermarket!of cox i could easily cfm it and point out as it is jz beside the counter~
so i ask bout it~and they insist on the higher price shown!!oh my!!if i could go on wif it, tat would be cheating customer!!!the 1st time of bad impression on a hypermarket~~
as i remember, when i shopping at jusco, if price discrepancy occur, they always honour the lower price tag, happen twice to me in jusco, and they always keep tat policy and promise~~
so ppl~dun shop too much at tat particular hypermarket at sutera mall!!hahaha!! XP

生日快乐？？

有人跟我说生日快乐~啊？？什么？？我的生日还有大半年才到勒！
原来~~初七是人日。。。
hmmm。。。我一直在想为什么是初七？什么故事呢？？
肯定不会突然间那么的决定吧。。
不过不管什么故事，我只知道，人的‘生日’应该是第六天~
神创造人是在第六天嘛~~
所以，初七不是我的生日，也不是人的生日~

不过我也在想，第六天和第七天那么靠近，会不会以前华人也知道，神创造人是在第六天，只是计算的方式有差别，所以变成第七天~然后因为人们慢慢忘记那真正的原因，不懂那真实的创造故事，才沦落到今天的情况？？纯粹的乱想巧合罢了~
哈哈~讲回来~神的创造自有神自己的时间与安排，是万无一失，是个事实，万物都应将称颂荣耀归给神，因神是那伟大的创造者

=)

book hunting~

hehe~went to trinity book room 2day~
as cnyear is around the corner, the traffic is really hectic...cars everywhr, and is moving like snail~~
a 30min drive end up wif 1 hr journey~
bought a book, which kinda suitable for christian in sarawak, where we did nt really exposed to chinese traditions and belifs~i would call it, chinese traditions for dummies..LOL, of cox tat is not the real title >.<
searching for english version bible too bt the available stock thr doesnt really interested me~
of cox i went thr nt only for books and bible, actually wanna buy smthng for sm1~i did found wad i wan to buy, bt 2 bad i think would be a waste, as i didnt really ask properly 1st for that person preferred colour -.-|||
-next time i should ask bout the colour preference of the person 1st be4 i buy smthng...haha

goin bac to kanowit 2molo, gah, wonder this time would haf proper internet connection or nt~or else it would be like goin to jail.......
ok~HapPy CHinEse New YeaR EverY1!!!!=)

holiday~~a boring holiday indeed...

i wonder why, i start to feel, too much holiday is a waste of time??

nvm tat....jz some crapping after bored for almost 5 days >.<

miss ppl bac in johor, doh i knw most of them also went bac for their holiday too...

anyway, sitting at home, do nth, is really killing me!no1 to go out wif, or talk wif...smthng tat i really didnt like...

couldnt do much either..hehe!

--------------------------

quote(s)

-prepare for the worst, hope for the best~
-你以为最酸的感觉是吃醋吗？不，最酸的感觉是没权吃醋~

*emo*

even if im surrounded by ppls..
even if the noise and chatter filled the air..
even if the busy-ness overwhelmed me...
i found that...
im still ever lonely...
walking mindlessly...
where no one notice...
which no one even care to hear~

izzit so hard to find sm1, who willing to listen, attentively and wif care??

hmmmm

the battle

seriously i need more time to rest!!!

the tiredness slowly gona overpower me...
i do not know hw long i could hold on...
as the fatigue slowly seep away my strength...
even the time is in the same alliance with them...
together they gona try their best...
wearing me out be4 finally took me away....
i only wish for a place...
where i could rest and rejuvenate...
regain my strength and continue the fight~

new year...new start

new year...a bz one...
becm a student is hard, bt becm a teacher is even harder!
a lods thng i still do not knw how..and feel vry...zzzz!!!
the system is different frm goverment sch, and it is vry much influenced by politics issue~which i dun really like
afterall, education institution should always independent frm politics stuff~
anyway~is an opportunity to gain exp for future =)
i jz hope i knw how to teach language subject~personally still prefer science and maths more~
language subj is jz nt my specialty~
anyway, i still like teaching vry much minus marking students' hmwork -.-|||

----------------
i know smtime im too much,
i know smtime im not reasonable,
but
is becox i care a lods  bout you,
becox i scare i would lose you~

HaPpY New Year!!!!!!!!!
haf a joyful 2011 and my GOD bless you abundantly in this great year!!!!

to those 2012 Apocalypse believer..HAH, 1 YEAR LEFT FOR U TO SURVIVE!!!mwahaha
*evil laugh*

anyway~brand new year, brand new things!